


Never Ending

by TheLostEcho



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, IdontknowwhatIamwriting, IveputwarningsinIdkifIneed, M/M, Mastermind Oma Kokichi, Mastermind Saihara Shuichi, Mental Breakdown, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Smut, Torture, Yandere Oma Kokichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 21,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostEcho/pseuds/TheLostEcho
Summary: Shuichi finds himself stuck in a constant and never ending loop of the killing games. Each game seems to be different but it’s never any easier.“One... more time...” Shuichi took in a deep breath. “JUST ONE MORE TIME!”~Story is Shuichi x Kokichi based and will end that way.Warning: I write as I go so I do not know what warnings will be added as I go. Please do not read if you’re triggered by anything as I do not want to be the one to trigger you.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Oma Kokichi, Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

“One... more time...” Shuichi took in a deep breath. “JUST ONE MORE TIME!” ~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*

It was over... It was finally over. It may be only three of us, but we managed to escape from the killing game. “What do... we do from here...?” Himiko muttered as we stood in rubble. It felt weird being surrounded by the remains of the location our friends died at. “I... don’t know... I don’t... see anything around us.” I constantly looked around, but it seemed like it was just bare lands surrounding us. “If this was broadcasted on live TV, I’m sure someone will come soon.” Maki seemed to be the most hopeful out of all of us.

We stood around in silence for a few minutes. It felt awkward and we felt broken. “Let’s see if we can find anything laying around to help. We might need food.” I suggested, trying to distract us. “Good idea.” “Okay...” We walked slowly and carefully, unsure if we would step onto anything dangerous. What would be dangerous if we stepped on it? There are not any dangerous animals anywhere.

“Are you kidding?”

“Huh?” I turned around, “Did you say something?”

“No. We didn’t say anything.” Maki was the one to answer. Am I hearing things now? I shook my head and just continued to walk forward.

“A killing game?!”

“I can’t kill anyone...”

I hear people talking.

“Calm down guys.”

Is that... Kaede?

“Okay... Do you guys hear anythi-“ I turned around, wanting to ask if the other two were hearing voices but instead I found myself in the dinning hall, eating food.

“Shuichi..?” Kaede tilted her head as she looked at me confused, “Are you oka- What happened?!” Where am I? How...? What...? Why am I here? Kaede died... nearly everyone in this room died. Am I stuck in a dream? “Shuichi?” She asked again as she got up and came closer, “Why are you crying?” My hand immediately went to my cheeks. It’s wet... I’m... crying. Of course I’m crying! I saw Kaede die right in front of me and now I’m imagining her.

Once Kaede got into reaching distance, I immediately reached over and bought her into a hug to sob into her chest.  
“Woah Shuichi~ Didnt realise you were this forward~” I heard Miu speak up.  
“Don’t go tricking Kaede with those tears, you degenerate male.” Tenko spoke up. I could hear everyone start to gossip and talk... but it’s only a dream so it doesn’t bother me. I am just so glad I can see everyone like this. Ah... but why isn’t Kokichi here? I pulled away from the hug and looked around. He really isn’t here... and neither is Tsumugi. I felt my face heat up when I noticed everyone staring at me in silence.

“P-Please excuse me!” I quickly stood up and ran to leave the dinning room. This isn’t good. The mastermind is with... is with Kokichi alone? What does this mean? What is my brain trying to tell me? I sped up, peeking at every corner in this large cage that they might be hiding in. So many thoughts were rushing through my head and my main question is: Why did Kaede feel so warm and real?

It took about 10 minutes for me to find Kokichi and Tsumugi. I knew they would be together. My eyes widened when I realised that Kokichi was pressed against the wall, a few centimetres off the ground and only being held up by his neck. “KOKICHI!” I yelled out to the boy who was clawing the arm of the blue haired mastermind. I was too stunned to move. My heart began to race. I felt my breathing become hard. Sweat dripped from my forehead. What is happening? Why am I seeing this?

“Shuichi, you came.” The cosplayer looked at me, “You won’t be around for long though.” I heard a thud as Kokichi’s body was dropped. The smaller boy gasped for air before he seemed to pass out, the cosplayer walked to me, “I am here to introduce you to your new life.”   
“N-New life..?” What is she on about? What new life? I’m confused... How did I even get here? I stepped back when she started to her closer, but that didn’t stop her from moving forward. My body was trembling and I just felt like I was suffocating more. This is the woman who put me through hell.   
“Yes... Your new life...” She stopped right in front of me, “See me as more of an introduction.”   
“I-Introduction?”

It... burns... Why does my stomach burn? I slowly looked down and saw Tsumugi holding half a knife. Wait, that’s not half a knife... It’s... She... She stabbed me? I felt myself stumble back a bit, my hand immediately covering my stomach when I felt the knife come out and I my ass hit the ground. “W-What..?” My head to was rushing. Is it rushing or is it just blank? I can’t think... I can’t focus. What’s happening? My eyes moved from my attacker and to her last victim. His movements had caught my attention, “K-Kokichi...” I called out.   
“Hey, don’t stop paying attention to me.” Tsumugi squat down to my level, “Ignore him. Now tell me... What do you feel?”   
“Feel...?” I was more confused as I slowly looked down to the burning sensation at my stomach. Blood was oozing from my hand, dripping onto the ground and my leg. “A- Ahhh!” I suddenly let out a scream. It hurt. Oh god it hurts so badly!

I felt my chin get roughly lifted by a surprisingly strong hand. I looked at Tsumugi, “This is all real. Everything you’re about to go through is real. You cannot escape until conditions are met.”   
“R-Real..? Conditions..?” I looked more confused. The pain was so much. Why is this happening to me? Why? Why? Why? Why?   
“You didn’t think the killing game would end so easily?” She simply smirked as I felt a cold, metallic, object touch my neck, “They won’t let you go that easily.”   
“T-They..?” I repeated. I wanted to wince and curl up from the sharp pain in my stomach but the knife gently rested on my neck was threatening me. I couldn’t move.

“Ah... Times up. Just make sure you don’t let anyone know you know who the mastermind is. Not even the mastermind can know or you should expect something extremely painful.” Tsumugi just smiled down at me, “Good bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see this chapter as a bit more of a prologue. I had been awake for 36 hours when I wrote it


	2. Chapter 2

*Shuichi’s POV*

It’s been months since that day my throat was sliced open. I’ve died countless times... I’ve watched people I care about die countless times. However, I am learning. I’m adapting. I feel myself getting closer to saving everyone each time. Each time...? How many times has it been? I think... 5 times? I haven’t lived to the end once.

I sighed and shook my head, looking at the notebook in front of me. So what I understand:  
-I cannot mention who I believe the mastermind is unless it is the final trial. However, I can mention I may have thoughts on who it is but never a name.   
-It is not time travel. Each time I go back to the start of the game, something is always different. It’s like i am in a different universe.   
-Kokichi Ouma... has always been a pillar of support when I need him. He can be serious.

~~~~~

_“I can’t... I can’t keep doing this! I hate it! I want it to end!” I sobbed into the arms of the boy who was gently holding me. His hand gently stroked my hair.  
“I don’t know what is up... but just know I’m here. You don’t have to do it alone. I maybe a liar... but this is the truth.” Kokichi gently whispered as he continued to touch me gently. _

_I found myself growing weaker as I got more tired; Kokichi also noticing and putting my head in my lap. “Sleep now...”_

~~~~~

When I woke up, my head was still in his lap but he was cold. Someone had... his throat was... I don’t know how I slept through that as my comforter was brutally murdered right there. I grimaced. My appreciation for Kokichi had been increasing the more I interacted with him. However, he always died because I would leave him alone for too long. I never had anyone I was close to die so that murdered shocked me and... I just feel so disgusted thinking back on it.

I heard the morning announcement set off, making me sigh and ruffle my hair. I guess I need to figure out where I am and what day we are in and what happened. I slowly got out of my seat, walking to my wardrobe and changing. Okay Shuichi! Time to give this another shot! I will escape this time. 

I took a deep breath, my hand trembling as it clutches the cold door knob. Calm down Shuichi... You’ve gone through it enough. You know how it goes and you know what type of scenes you will see. My heart just picked up as I thought back to everything and what I’m about to witness. I let out a shaky breath before turning the knob and leaving my room.

“Shumai!” I heard a familiar grape call out and footsteps run my way, “Good morning~ I knew you would already be up.” The boy stopped in front of me, “I didn’t want you to be lonely.”   
“K-Kokichi!” I looked shocked, “You shouldn’t be so loud. You might annoy the others.” I blushed in embarrassed, looking around to make sure no one saw us.   
“So mean! You care more about everyone else than seeing me?” Kokichi put on his fake tears.   
“K-Kokichi... I didn’t mean it like that!” I reached my hands out but didn’t touch him.

Kokichi stopped his tears, “Why do you have no hat on? Hmmm? Did you fall so helplessly in love with me that you no longer care about everyone’s gaze?” He teased, smirking as he looked up at me.   
A heavy blush covered my cheeks, “K-Kokichi!” I yelled out, using my hands to cover my cheeks. So I wasn’t at the point of taking off my hat yet.   
“Don’t hide your face from your boyfriend~”   
“K-Kokichi! P-Please!” I removed my hands to look at him. Why is he so embarrassing sometimes?

Kokichi’s smile dropped. He seemed a bit hurt but he quickly smiled again, “You’re embarrassed so easily.” He lifted himself up onto his tip-toes. I felt soft and gentle lips touch my own. My cheeks heated up more, which I didn’t think was possible. My eyes widened. Kokichi seemed to lower his eyes before closing them, pushing his tongue into my mouth.

A door opened but Kokichi didn’t stop, instead he wrapped his arms around my neck as his tongue gently twisted around my own. Why is he so good at this? I thought he would be too embarrassed in public because he was secretly some virgin! My embarrassment forced me to close my eyes, my hands instinctively holding his waist.

“You guys have only been dating for a few days but I swear I always walk into you kissing! Have you two done it yet~?” Miu was the one who left her room first to see us. I immediately pulled away but my hands didn’t leave his side. Why didn’t I pull away in the first place? Wait... dating? H-He and I-I... W-We are...   
“Oh shut it. I know you get wet just by looking at us kiss since you’re such a whore.”   
“W-Whore?!” Miu was shocked.   
“K-Kokichi!” I yelled out, my cheeks still hot as I looked to the smaller male.

Kokichi looked back at me before smirking. He pushed me against my bedroom door, “Tell the others we will be late to breakfast.” I felt myself fall backwards when Kokichi had opened my door. When did he steal my key?!   
“K-Kokichi... It’s a bit early... f-for this...” I dragged my body back. This allowed Kokichi to close the door and lock it. God I’m such an idiot! Why did I do that?!   
“Don’t be like that, ShuShu. We did make a promise today~” Kokichi simply straddled me, “We were going to go all day~ I wasn’t going to let you go until the next day.”   
WHY DID I MAKE SUCH A PROMISE?! What was this universe me thinking?! God I hope I don’t act too different that it’s suspicious.

I felt Kokichi gently kiss my neck, “Mmm...” I was surprised by the sound I made.   
“It really is your weak spot~ Ah but you can’t let me do all the work. You need to prepare me properly or it will hurt!”   
Would it be weird if I denied it now? Would I be suspicious? I might hurt his feelings... after he did so much to me in all my other lives. I blushed more as I watched Kokichi undo his shirt, a glint in his eye and a slight blush.

“Do you... love me..?” I asked him softly. The boy paused and looked at me confused.   
“Why would you ask that?” Kokichi started to blush more, “Y-You’re... the only one I have ever really... loved.” Ah.. So he can get embarrassed? He is rather cute like this. I gently lifted my hand to his cheek, stroking it while smiling softly.   
WHAT AM I THINKING?! CUTE?! No no no! Kokichi might be nice but I can’t think of him in such a way!   
“Shuichi...? Why are we still waiting? Can we get started?” Kokichi leaned closer to me, gently kissing my lips. I’m just doing this to respect Kokichi. I’m just doing this to respect Kokichi. Plus it’s a promise and apparently I’m dating him. That’s all there is to it... I leaned into his kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

*Kokichi’s POV* 

Shuichi felt really good but I might have pushed him too hard. I looked at my boyfriend and gently stroked his hair, leaning down and kissing his forehead. It’s nice being the power bottom... I get to exhaust my top and see them in such a peaceful slumber. He was acting pretty weird in the morning though... and he actually thought we made a promise. Though, I don’t mind that. 

~~~~~

_“Kokichi... haaaa... spread your legs a bit more.” Shuichi gently bit onto my neck. He looked very into it.  
I gently cupped the cheeks of the boy above me, “Ngh~ You need to try a bit harder if you want to make request from me~” I teased.   
“Kokichi~” Shuichi whined before he just held my legs apart anyway, shifting himself. _

~~~~~

I heard Shuichi groan and watched him stir, an arm going around my waist and he hugged me in his sleep. “How affectionate you are... I wish it could be like this forever.” Sadly, it cannot. Eventually, someone will kill another and it will all start to spiral down. Don’t worry though... “I am holding back as long as I can. I don’t know how long I can put it off.” I gently whispered into his ear, “Please relax for awhile.” 

A gentle knock on the door caught my attention, my eyes darting to it before I slipped out of bed. I slowly made my way, making sure to slip on my boxers as I walked. I don’t want to hide my marks though so no need for anything else. I slowly opened the door, peeking my head out.   
“I bought some food for the two of you. It’s almost dinner but neither of you have come out to eat.” Kirumi, the Ultimate Maid, was holding a plate of sandwiches. This is why a maid is so useful.   
“Thank you~” I smiled cheekily, “I’m so glad mum worries about me~ Please bring dinner around because my cute little Shumai is sleeping so peacefully.”

Kirumi just stared blankly before bowing, “This one time. Please don’t do this frequently.” She have the plate to me and quickly left. I guess she must prepare for dinner.  I slowly closed the door, locking it again, and making my way to the bed. I placed the plate on the counter next to the bed and slipped back in. The shifting of the bed from his weight seemed to be what woke up the detective. 

Long eye lashes fluttered as Shuichi’s eyes opened, having to blink to adjust to the light.   
“Morning sleepy head~ I thought you were dead!” I used my signature grin.   
“Kokichi...?” Shuichi simply called out my name before a large blush covered his face. He must be remembering the fun we had. Ahh~ I could drown in these feelings I have for you. 

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*

I used my hands to cover my face to hide my embarrassment. I can’t believe we did it for so long! He was just so cute under me... He definitely was feeling good! I can’t believe I did that with someone like Kokichi!   
“Shuichi, dont hide from me... You’ve been hurting my feelings a lot today.” Kokichi gently stroked my hair, “I’ll be mad if you keep this up. You don’t want to see me mad.” I felt a shiver run up my spine. So he’s putting on that threatening act even now? To his own boyfriend? 

“I’m sorry... I-I don’t mean to...” I uncovered my face and sat up, “I just am embarrassed.”   
“Virgin.”   
My cheeks went a dark red, “W-What? K-Kokichi!” The purple haired boy only spoke as he picked up a plate from the bedside table, holding it in front of me.   
“Have one... you must be starving.” He simply smiled. He seeks to be in a better mood. Can he really feel this much better just from having sex with me? I reached over, picking up a sandwich and slowly started to eat.

“Shuichi... It’s been a number of weeks since we came here.” Kokichi spoke up. Yes! Information! “We were told it’s a killing game but there are no deaths... What do you think of that..? Do you think we can all live happily here?” I felt my heart sank at the idea. Never. I could never.   
“Don’t be foolish! I could... I could never live trapped here...” My expression saddened. I saw Kokichi have a shocked, then sad, then angry expression. His emotions shifted so quickly, but eventually returned to his usual smile.   
“I know right! I couldn’t bare being trapped here with some people.” He laughed, “We can run off and live together somewhere far away.”

“I... wouldn’t mind that...” I took a bite at my food, blushing and looking away.   
“Y-You... You wouldn’t...?” Kokichi sounded more shocked than anything.”   
“Don’t ask me again. It’s embarrassing.” I kept looking away, my face more red.   
“I... will make sure you’re happy and comfortable.” Kokichi said excitedly,  “Let’s just spend the rest of today together... Just you and I...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I just wanted to say incase anyone is wondering why I write short chapters.  
> 1\. I feel it divides it up better for me.  
> 2\. I hate long chapters.
> 
> That’s it. That’s all there is to my reasoning.


	4. Chapter 4

*Shuichi’s POV*

Stupid! So very stupid! How could I be this stupid?! I spent the whole day with Kokichi and now both Rantaro and Kaede are dead! This is the worst... The worst... I was distracted.   
“I need to stop being distracted. I need to focus on everything, not just Kokichi.” I pulled at the grass under my hands, looking up at the night sky. Why am I here? Why me?   
“Focus on everything?” I heard Kokichi call out, making me relax my group and turn to face him, “Why not just focus on me? We can do each trial together...”

I just pouted, “Quit with your jokes. You know I have to find a way out...” I laid back onto the grass as Kokichi sat next to me, “For Kaede...”   
“You’re doing this... for Kaede?”   
Huh? He sounds rather hurt. I sat up and looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed.   
“She... helped me out a lot. She’s given me so much... She put her trust in me so I think it’s the le-“   
“AND SHES A FUCKING WHORE!” Kokichi snapped, yelling at my angrily.My eyes widened as I looked at him surprised.

Kokichi... What did Kokichi just say? My widened eyes turned into a glare as I stood up and patted my pants clean, “You...”   
Kokichi looked surprised by his words and he quickly smiled, “Kidding~ You know I cared for Kaede very much.”   
“I’m going to bed.” Was all I managed to say, turning away from him and walking off.

I cannot believe him. Even as a joke, how dare he disrespect the dead like that... much less Kaede. How could I forget Kokichi has those horrible sides to him? I guess sex really does cloud your mind. I need time to think things over and focus on getting everyone out. “It’s not like I love Kokichi in the first place. I’m here for my mission.” I muttered to myself, knowing no one was around.

~~~~~

The next day, I was feeling pretty bad about how I treated Kokichi. No no no! I can’t think like that... He said something horrible. I had avoided the smaller boy all day, all the way until the night when most were asleep.   
I simply sighed and left my room. I need to focus... I can’t be distra-   
“Shuichi...” I heard Kokichi’s voice. It was gentle, soft, and he sounded guilty. I looked at the boy in front of me.   
“Kokichi... I am not in the mood to see you right now.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. I shook off my head and   
“Shuichi! I’m sorry! I really am!” His voice was so sincere, catching my attention. An apology from Kokichi... is incredibly rare.

“Kokichi... Thats...” I looked away, instinctively going for the hat that wasn’t there.   
“Shuichi... I-I... I just didn’t know how to react. Kaede and Rantaro were dear to me... they were gone and I was afraid they were taking you with them.” This is so out of character for him. Is he that worried about losing him? Is he lying? He seems genuinely upset.   
“Kokichi... You should go to bed. It’s okay, I’m not mad anymore.” I lied as I smiled at him. I have been practicing my lying after so many lives after all.

“What about you? Why are you out?” Kokichi moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Why is he acting like this? It’s too weird... Way too weird.   
“I’m just on a walk...” I stepped away, pulling him away from me.   
“Okay... don’t wander around too long. I want you to get up early tomorrow for some play time~” He simply smirked, causing me to heavily blush.   
“A-Alright...” I quickly faced away and walked off. Do I have to keep having sex with him in this world? It feels so weird.

~~~~~

My head was pounding as I opened my eyes, blinking to adjust to the light. When my vision stabilised, I noticed I was in my bed. “How did I...?” I tried to think back to what happened. I was on my way back to my dorm when I got hit hard   
“Am I dead..? Did I return...?” I muttered as I slowly sat up. I immediately stopped and laid back down, gripping the back of my head. IT HURTS! I groaned.

“Noo~ You’re not dead, Shu. You’re just in my room.” Kokichi spoke up. Ah... so it’s not my room?   
I immediately sat up, ignoring the pain, “What? Why? Did you save me?” I looked at the smaller boy.   
“Save you...?” Kokichi tilted his head before smirking, “I guess you could say that~” He slowly climbed onto the bed, sitting on my lap, “I guess you won’t die if you stay here. So yeah, you could say I’m saving you.”

My felt my heart sink, a lump in my throat. What..? I choked out an awkward laugh, “That’s not funny... Kokichi...” It’s hard to take it as a joke when he’s been acting so weird.   
“I’m not joking, Shumai... I have had my eye on you since the start. No, even before that!” Kokichi slowly started to lean forward, “Open your mouth~ I want a kis-“   
Beep! Beep! A computer went off, making Kokichi pull away. Wait, a computer?   
“You look so cute with how confused you are~” I felt gentle lips on my neck, “I... am the mastermind.” 

My mind seemed to stop and my heart squeezed.

Kokichi... is the mastermind this time? 


	5. Chapter 5

*Shuichi’s POV*

“Please don’t be so silent. I didn’t think the news would shock you so much.” Kokichi pouted, a hand gently cupping my cheek. I felt his small thumb gently stroke back and forth along my cheek, a shiver running up my spine.   
“You... YOU MONSTER!” I glared down at Kokichi, shoving him off me. The boy ungracefully fell to the floor with a thud. Kokichi simply stood up, looking annoyed, “I have to talk to my supervisors.” He walked over to his desk and opened his laptop. I watched the mastermind sit down as if I wasn’t kidnapped or here at all. Is he that confident I won’t escape?

I quickly slipped out of bed, trying to run off. BANG! A small pain came from my face after I had fallen to the wooden ground roughly. Why... did I fall? I looked up at Kokichi, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He really is confident! As I went to stand up, I heard the sound of a chain rattling. Wait... a chain? I slowly turn to look at my feet, finding one had a chain attached to it. I see... so that’s why he is so confident. Why... did I not feel it get pulled when I tried standing up? 

I examined my foot more, slowly sitting up. It’s red? The back of my ankle is red. The chain is mostly covering it. I bought my foot close, gently touching the chain, “DON’T LOOK!” I heard Kokichi yell out and my eyes were quickly covered by hands, “Don’t look. Don’t look. You cannot look! You will be angry!”   
I am already angry and feeling betrayed, why can’t I just look?   
“What happened, Kokichi? What did you do to my ankle?”

~~~~~

*Kokichi’s POV*

_ A walk... He’s just on a walk... My eyes lowered when he left me, even if it was only temporarily. I went to return to my room, gripping the syringe and knife in my pocket tightly. I want him... I want him... I can’t do that... He will hate me... Oh does that matter? I can work with Stockholm after all... I mean, he did say out loud he didn’t love me. My cameras heard that so clearly. I felt my blood boil thinking about it... Was he just using me? He’s not meant to be like that.  _

_ I felt my movement slow down until my feet stopped working. He’s... walking tonight? No! SOMEONE IS GOING TO MURDER HIM!   
I turned around and dashed, my heart was racing as fast as me or maybe faster. My breathing was already heavy- I am not built to run for long or at all. Shuichi can’t live without me. If he is going to act like this, he will die. I better just lock him up so he can’t leave.  _

_ “Argh!” I heard a pained sound from nearby. I picked up my speed. Faster. Faster. Faster. Come on Kokichi! It’s life or death!   
I came to a sudden halt, looking at Shuichi’s body that was now laying on the ground. Blood oozed from the back of his head. Who did this? How dare they... How DARE they! I looked at the culprit, “I will kill you!”  _

~~~~~

“Don’t worry about your ankle, Shuichi.” Don’t hate me. Don’t hate me. Don’t hate me.   
“Kokichi! What did you do?!” Shuichi started to struggle, him pulling away from my hands that were acting as a blindfold. “What did you do to me?! Why are you doing this?!” His golden eyes seemed to pierce into me, a fury burning behind them, “I TRUSTED YOU!”   
“Stop struggling! Stop! I don’t want to hurt you!”   
“You already HAVE!” At the final word, Shuichi tried to use his uninjured foot to kick me. 

I felt the pain on my stomach as I went back a bit, coughing. He is struggling too much... he is disobedient...   
I slowly stood up, returning to my desk, “I did not cause your head injury or what happened to your foot. I saved your life and the fight I had lead to your foot being in that state...” I explained as I opened a drawer, shuffling through the stuff before I pulled out a knife, “But I will be making your other foot unusable as well. I can’t have you continuing to fight against me. You know my identity so what makes you think I can just let you go?”   
I turned to the taller boy who had backed himself against the bed, a noticeable gulp coming from him as he looked at me with fearful eyes. 

“A body has been discovered!” Suddenly chimed on the TV.

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*

I can’t, protect anyone... I couldn’t protect anyone in this world. “Stop! Please don’t! Don’t do this!” I had tears running from my cheeks, never stopping. I can’t stop them. The pressure of a Monokuma on my back kept me down. He was so heavy for something so small but I guess he is a robot. 

I felt Kokichi’s hand gently touch my uninjured foot, immediately making me pull it away. I started kicking both of my legs, “Don’t! Stop it please!” I shouted, the waterfall on my cheeks getting more intense.   
“STOP FIGHTING!” Kokichi yelled. I felt a intense and sharp pain on my leg, a familiar burning sensation.   
“AHHH!” I broke out in a scream, my hands turning to fist and I hit the floor.   
“Now look... You were injured more than you had to be. I guess I can’t be gentle.” My foot was roughly grabbed and held down. HOW CAN YOU THINK YOU COULD EVER BE GENTLE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS?!

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I won’t kick you again! Please don’t do this.” I started to beg, fear filling my entire body as I felt the knife gently touch the back of my ankle.   
“It’s too late for that Shuichi... You need to be punished.” I felt the knife slowly dig into the back of my ankle, “I will try to not mess up so I don’t have to do it again. You need to be still...”   
“Oh my god! Oh my god!” I cried out in pain, my nails digging into my hand to cause blood to come out, “It hurts! It hurts so much! Stop it! Stop it please!” I couldn’t help but struggle. 

There was so much pain. So much... My vision was going black. It was so intense. I want to die. I want to die. Please kill me! Bring me back... Bring me back.   
“Now look! I messed up! I guess I will just cut out that chunk of your ankle... You definitely won’t ever be able to walk then.” Kokichi spoke in a way that sounded like he was pleased he messed up, “Can you be quiet? You keep muttering ‘stop’ as if that would actually make me stop.”   
I didn’t even realise I was speaking... I can’t think clearly. I can’t... do anything...

Everything went black. 


	6. Chapter 6

*Shuichi’s POV* 

I gasped as my eyes shot open. It’s hot. My heart is being fast. It’s hard to breathe. My eyes dashed around the room to find I was alone. Am I dead? Did I finally return? No! No! There is no way Kokichi would let me die. I need... I need to do it myself. I looked at the desk, a bloody knife sitting on top it.

I felt myself gulp even though my mouth was dry. I need... I need to leave quickly... I slipped out of bed but instantly collapsed to the floor. I forgot. I forgot about the chain. I turned around but noticed there was no chain, instead just bandages on both my feet.   
“A-Ah...” I wanted to scream but a chocked sound was all I could make.   
I forgot what he had done... Oh god it hurts. My ankle hurts! I could hear my heart pounding in my eyes. Focus... the knife. 

I slowly turned around and started to crawl to the desk. Ignore the pain. Ignore the burning and the stabbing and the pain. Ignore everything. Focus on the goal! Focus!   
I made it to the desk and lifted myself up, but my knees were still connected to the floor. That knife hurt me... It hurt... However, I need it.   
I reached over for it quickly but apparently not quick enough, “Are you planning to leave me?” A hand had rested gently over my own, pushing it down to stay on the desk. He was behind me! I didn’t even notice him enter the room. 

I moved my hand away from the knife, “It hurts... you crazy son of a bi-“   
“I wouldn’t say anymore.” A cold voice whispered into my ear, my breathing hitched. I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for Kokichi to do something, anything, to me. “Sorry, I didn’t think about how much it would hurt when you woke up. You don’t need the knife to help you end it though. I can end the pain.” Kokichi opened up a drawer and started to rummage through it, “I don’t think you will get hard if you’re in pain.”

Hard? He... He still expects us to do it? After everything he’s done now? I felt a needle slowly enter my foot, “You shouldn’t move around much though... I want you to heal properly so your wounds don’t open again. I am not good at taking care of injured people.”   
The needle left and one entered the other foot, “Ah~ But I’m sure you would love me to nurse you. Should I buy a nurse outfit?” Kokichi kept speaking. Shut up. I don’t want to be near you. I don’t want to hear you. He was so good in all the other timelines and now this?! 

“Come on, Shuichi. Let’s go back to bed.” Kokichi tried to pull me up, but kept failing, “Come on~”   
“Leave me alone! Why are you doing this?!” I shouted to the grape, glaring at him as tears pricked my eyes. “Why...? Because I love you of course. I love you so so so much that I couldn’t live if you died.” Kokichi gently held my cheeks, leaning in for a kiss.   
“Don’t kiss me!” I immediately turn my head away, “Don’t think of touching me. I hate you...” 

“I see... I guess punishments will be needed.”

~~~~~

*Kokichi’s POV*

“Ah Shuichi~ The game is almost to an end. We can run away together soon enough.” I sighed as I gently stroked the hair of the boy sitting in bed, my lover. “Do you want to come to the final trial with me? It’s been a couple of weeks since you left the room but that’s because you wouldn’t behave and I had to keep punishing you.”   
No response was given, which didn’t surprise me, “You are so pretty. I’m sad I had to ruin your body because you wouldn’t listen.” I gently kissed the bandages around his eyes- well, where his eyes use to be. 

~~~~~

“No! You can’t take Shuichi with you. You lost Kokichi!” One of the annoying survivors yelled out.   
“I’m sorry. I lost Shuichi. Please don’t be mad that we can’t live together.” I leaned down to the unmoving boy, gently kissing his lips. This might be good... I broke him too much that he doesn’t do anything anymore.   
“He couldn’t live without me... No one loves him as much as I do. You all looked horrified when you saw him. Death... would be easier on him.” I spoke gently as I stroked his hair, my game area crumbling around us. I went back to gently kissing the boy in my arms. 

“STOP KAITO! YOU WILL DIE IF YOU GO THERE!”   
“We can’t let him die! We can’t let him die this way! We need to save him!”   
“We can’t... I’m sorry.”   
I looked up and saw a piece falling directly above us. I guess this is our end. I hope we... meet again in our next life. I will treat you much gentler.   
“SHUICHIII-“ 


	7. Chapter 7

*Kokichi’s POV*   
Is it a new motive? No one knows. Just one day, Shuichi stopped leaving his room. After he missed all 3 meals, people told me to pick open his door so we could see he is... you know... alive. However, what we saw was a dead spirit more than anything. When he saw me, I saw fear in his eyes as it widened and he instinctively moved away. When he moved, he looked surprised and honestly seemed more surprised he could move. 

He’s been like that for 3 days now. Mum goes in to hand feed him so he doesn’t starve himself to death.  
“Oi, Kokichi!” I heard Kaito called out, forcing me to turn around so I could see him.  
“Oh my Kaito~ You look so serious! Do you plan to confess?” I teased, bringing up my cheeky grin.  
“No you idiot! I am telling you to apologise for whatever the hell you did to him. He only seems to react to you.”   
“Maybe because I am the mastermind~ I mean, why wouldn’t you react to the mastermind?” I used a finger to cross over my lips, simply smiling at him.

BANG! I hit the ground, my hand covering my cheek. “You have some serious anger issues, Kai-chan.”   
“ENOUGH OF YOUR JOKES!” I felt myself get picked up by the back of my shirt and I was being carried off.  
“Oi! Let me go! Let me go!” I struggled to escape. Why does he have to be so strong?   
“You need to figure out what the fuck you did to him and help him! This isn’t a time to joke.” Kaito was definitely angry. I don’t remember doing anything! I never did anything! 

I found myself flung into Shuichi’s room, roughly hitting the ground. “Ow ow ow...” I groaned as I sat up. I jumped at the sound of the door slamming.  
“HEY!” I yelled out, running to the door after I got up. I tried turning the knob but it wouldnt move.  
“You cannot come out till you fix whatever you did!” Kaito shouted. Why do I have to help him? Why am I taking the blame? I sighed and let go, turning to face the boy who was just sitting up. 

His eyes look dead... How can I resurrect the dead? He stared at me intensely. Apparently he doesn’t look at anyone but now he’s looking at me?   
I walked up to the bed, “This is your fault.” I sat on the edge of it, “I don’t want to be stuck here either. You are creeping me out.” I poked his cheek, the boy flinching in response.  
“Huh??? Why are you so scared of me?” I pouted before realising, “Fine fine. I will tell you the truth. I’m not actually the mastermind. I am just saying so to annoy him.” 

My eye caught a hand twitch, making me look at it intensely. “Seriously? Don’t tell me you’re like this because I claim to be the mastermind. You didn’t react this way when I first said it.” He’s so weird. This is so creepy. I stood up, “Stop acting like this! You’re making it hard! How can I be the villain if one of the heroes is broken down?!” I yelled, but not too loud. I know it’s pretty sound proof but I didn’t want to risk everyone else hearing me. 

“Don’t...” Was the first word Shuichi said since his weird condition.  
“Don’t? Don’t what? Do you think I’m gonna hurt you?” So annoying.   
“Don’t... be the villain.” He slowly spoke out. His voice was a bit hoarse. I thought he was drinking enough with Kirumi making him.   
I sighed and picked up his bottle on the bedside table, opening it and holding it to his lips. He opened his mouth and drank. “You’re asking so much of meeee~” I put on fake tears, “You’re so mean!” 

Shuichi said nothing as he drank, “How about this... I won’t be a villain if you stop doing whatever you’re doing? Everyone blames me and it’s sooooo annoying.” I whined. I pulled the bottle away and closed it, returning it to its spot. “So? Do you agree?”   
No words. “Are you going back to being silent?!” I got annoyed, “Seriously?!” I can’t even act around this guy with how annoying he’s being. 

The raven haired boy simply laid down. What?! Are you... are you kidding me?! What’s with this guy? My jaw dropped in shock. I quickly closed my mouth and turned around, “If you are going to sleep, I will leave no-“  
I felt my arm get pulled and I found myself in Shuichi’s bed, his arms around my waist. A blush went to my face as I was looking at the door.  
“W-Wait wait! I can’t be your fuck buddy~ My heart is already taken.” I put on my mask again.  
Shuichi didn’t say anything, simply just starting to stroke my hair. It felt... so comfortable. I closed my eyes. I haven’t realise how long it’s been since I had someone touch me so gently... I guess I can let him continue. “I guess if you need to cuddle that much, I will let you. Just don’t go telling the others or I may have to kill you~” 

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I continued to gently stroke the smaller one’s hair. This is nice... I leaned into him, gently smelling his hair. I’m... so glad the last timeline is over. It was so hard.. it was so very hard. I felt tears run down my cheeks. I’m glad I got the normal Kokichi back... It seems this one doesn’t like me as much as all the other ones did in the past but at least he isn’t trying to lock me up and kill all my friends in a twisted game. 

I heard a soft snore. Ah... He must’ve fallen asleep. I know you’ve been staying up late... That’s how normal you behaves. I felt tears come a bit faster and I wrapped my arm around his waist tighter. My body started to tremble, “I was in so much pain... I couldn’t... do anything...” I whispered. 

I was surprised when I felt movement in my arms, making me stop stroking the purple locks. Kokichi turned to face me, his eyes wide open. I stopped crying as I looked at him in shocked.   
“I... was going to ignore your crying and pretend to sleep...” He looked down, “But... you seem to have been through a lot. I don’t know what happened during the day you didn’t come out... but... It won’t happen again.” I felt his small hand lift up, gently stroking my hair. 

Ba-thump. 

“K-Kokichi...” Ba-thump. Ba-thump. I felt my cheeks heat up. Why... is my heart racing? It’s not from fear... He’s so gentle and caring... I just... I haven’t touched so gently and with care for so long. This feels... nice... I want more. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. I gulped as I looked at him... An urge was telling me to kiss him. I slowly leaned forward.   
“Kaito and Maki are there for you remember? So is everyone else...” Kokichi say up and slipped out of bed, “I should leave now. The others are worried.”   
“Kokichi... w-wait...”

Kokichi turned to me with his usual grin, “I’m glad you’re looking much better. I must return to my position as the evil mastermind! Can’t keep Monokuma bored for too long.” No... NO! Don’t leave me... Please... You’re the only one I can rely on.  
I watched Kokichi knock on the door, “Kaitoooo~ He’s talking now. I’m gonna die if he keeps talking to meeee.” Ouch Kokichi. That actually hurt my feelings.  
“Don’t... leave...” I spoke up, sitting up properly and reaching my hand out. Kokichi froze for a moment and looked at me, however the door opened.

“Shuichi!” Kaito basically shoved Kokichi aside, making him sit the side of the doorway. Don’t treat him so roughly! Kaito walked up to me. “I can’t believe you’re actually feeling better.” He stood in my way. I tried to look past him but Kokichi was gone by the time I could peek over. My heart sunk... I’m such an idiot... Why did I have to fall in love when the Kokichi doesn’t like me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I know it feels sudden but I did mention in previous chapters the idea of Stockholm. He’s fallen in love because of that and also because, after being handled so cruelly, he was touched gently.


	8. Chapter 8

I quickly took off my blanket, jumping out of bed. I could only take a few steps before I was overwhelmed with dizziness and collapsed. Kaito luckily caught me, “Woah there Shuichi... you haven’t been eating properly these past few days no matter how much we try. Don’t be so energetic.” He lifted me up and placed me back in bed, “I’m that gremlin could be useful... I hope he apologised to you properly after whatever he did.”   
“N-No... He uh... didn’t do anything to me.” I answered. No matter why he doesn’t like me... They are probably all rude to him because they think he did something to me.

“Huuh? Then what was with you before?!” Kaito looked shocked.   
“Something just happened.” I raised my hands, “I... well... Kokichi helped me out.” I blushed and looked down.   
“HE did?” Kaito seemed honestly surprised, “That bastard actually HELPED?! I think you’re losing it.”   
Woah... I never realised how much Kaito hated Kokichi.   
“He’s... actually a pretty good guy if you get to know him.” 

Kaito looked at me shocked before he gained a gentle expression, “Now you’re sounding like Kaede...”   
Huh? Like Kaede? Why? I looked at him shocked, wanting to know more.   
“Don’t you remember? She was so happy to date him and always said that before she... you know...” Kaito grimaced as he looked away.   
Kokichi... and Kaede? Those two... could that be part of why Kokichi doesn’t seem as close to me? I looked down, my heart was squeezing. I didn’t like this feeling. I guess it does hurt since... well Kaede died. It still makes me feel miserable each and every time.

“I’m tired, Kaito.” I laid down properly, “Can we talk tomorrow?”   
“Oh no you don’t.” Kaito looked at me annoyed, “You can’t go sleeping until you eat a decent meal.” A shiver ran up my spine and I looked at him horrified.   
“I-I... I will eat...” It’s hard to breathe. So hard to breath. 

~~~~~

“ _Eat Shuichi! You need to eat!” Kokichi looked at me with a glare as he held a fork with a piece of meat on it, “I won’t let you do anything until you. I refuse to let you starve to death.”_  
_ “I won’t...” I answered firmly, glaring back at the other boy, “Let me go! Kill me! Just whatever so I’m not near you.” I used my hand to whack the utensil out of his hand. _

_ Kokichi’s glare darkened, “So you think... it’s okay to disobey me and waste food?” I felt a shiver. My body stilled. Instinctively I covered my face with my arms, preparing to be hit. I felt my wrist get roughly grabbed and I was pulled closer to the other, my hand was raised.   
“So...” Kokichi used his other hand to gently stroke my hand that was being held, “Is there anything you want to say..?”   
What... I want to say? Is he asking for an apology? No! I can’t back down.   
“Let me go...” I tired pulling my hand away. _

_ Snap!  _

_ “H-Huh...?” I looked at my hand confused. Pain started to radiate from my pointer finger that was pushed far back. “A-Ahhh!” I tried pulling my arm away, “IT HURTS! LET GO!” I continued to struggle to pull it away. _

_ Snap!  _

_ I watched in horror as he broke another finger. “Stop! Stop! Let go!” I had tears streaming down my eyes, “Please stop! It hurts. It hurt. It hurts it hurts it hurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsi-“ _

_ Snap!  _

_“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I please! Please forgive me! I will eat...” I begged out, desperate pleas leaving my mouth constantly. He isn’t saying anything! Why isn’t he saying anything?!_

_ Snap!  _

_ “ARGH!” I cried out, once again trying to pull my hand away, “You crazy bastard! You freak! You psychopath!” _

_ Snap!  _

_ I let out another scream, my tears streaming non-stop.   
“I told you to stop disobeying me.” Kokichi glared, putting my hand down slowly, letting it rest on my lap. It’s okay... It’s finally over... Oh god it hurts so much. He slowly picked up my other hand. Oh god... Oh god no   
“P-Please! Please no! I-I will eat! I will b-behave! You can even hand feed me if you want!” I begged out, choking on my words as I spoke.  _

_ My words successfully got Kokichi to stop and look at me, “I can... hand feed you?” He looked excited. I quickly nodded.   
“Y-You can! Anyway you want!” I smiled weakly. Did I successfully make him stop?   
Kokichi let go of my hand and pulled me into a hug, “I’m so glad you want to be fed that way!”  _

~~~~~

“Shuichi! Snap out of it!” I came back to reality with my body being shook.   
“Stop Kaito... Stop...” I pulled away from him.   
“What’s with you? You went pale and look absolutely terrified. Do you not want to eat that badly?”   
I shook my head, “I feel like I will throw up if I eat.”   
Kaito paused for a moment and then roughly ruffled my hair, “You sleep. We will bring something easy to eat tomorrow. What soup do you like?” He asked, moving his hand away slowly. 

“Anything Kirumi makes is good enough for me.” I smiled gently at the taller male.

~~~~~

“Why me..?”I heard arguing. I wish they would quiet down so I could sleep.   
“Just do it....” A grumpy voice, not too pleased in his own decision, responded.   
A long sigh came out, “Fine...” was the response before I heard a door close. A door close? My door..? 

I slowly opened my eyes, lifting my arms to rub them. I moved them so I could see when I heard a bowl get set on the bedside table next to me. A small, purple haired, boy was standing next to my bed.   
“Morning sleepyhead~” Kokichi noticed me and smiled, “I am here to nurse you back to help. I’m sorry I couldn’t get a cute nurse outfit in time but you can just imagine~” I felt my cheeks heat up and I quickly sat up, feeling dizzy for a moment. “No need to get so excited just because I’m here.” 

“A-Ah Kokichi... What are you really doing here?” I shifted a bit.   
“I’m here to feed you of course. Of course you can feed yourself if you rather.” He shrugged nonchalantly, looking around, “You should take a shower too. It’s been awhile since you really moved.”   
My cheeks heated up in embarrassment. Am I starting to smell bad? “Thanks... I will do that after I eat.” I reached over and picked up the bowl, placing it on my lap and slowly lifting up the spoon to my mouth. 


	9. Chapter 9

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I finished the chicken soup and put down the bowl. I miss eating at the table with everyone else... I can’t wait to go back...   
I felt a hand gently touch my head, making me close my eyes and nuzzle into the gentle touch. “Don’t cry now... What are you thinking of that’s making you so upset?”  
“Huh? I’m not crying!” I looked at the smaller boy.  
“You look like you’re about to.” He lowered his hand and pulled at my arm, “Anyway, let’s get you cleaned up so we can leave. I have things to do.” Why are you giving me such a cold shoulder? Do you hate me that much? 

“Alright...” I slowly got out of bed, stumbling a bit. Kokichi quickly went next to me, stabilising me.  
“Argh! You’re so heavy! You would crush me if you fell on me!” Kokichi laughed, “Well, that’s a lie! Don’t fall on me though.”   
“I will try not to.” I chuckled a bit as my feet slowly made their way to the bathroom. 

Kokichi slowly let go of me when we entered the bathroom, “Thank you, Kokichi. I’m fine from here.”  
“Alright! I am gonna look for your diary while I wait!” I looked at him shocked as he went to leave.  
“I-I don’t have a diary!”   
“I can find that out myself.” He closed the door, trying to show I couldn’t stop him no matter what. Why does he have to be like that? I don’t have any secrets. 

~~~~~

When I was done with my shower, I stepped out in new clothes and felt rather refreshed. I really needed that. I looked at Kokichi, who seemed to be crouched down and talking to Monokuma.  
He’s with Monokuma? Why is he with Monokuma? I instinctively stepped back, my legs trembling. Is he the mastermind again? Will he do it again?! I can’t go another world like that.  
“A-Are you the mastermind?!” I asked him bluntly.

Kokichi turned and looked at me, standing up, “I already answered you before, I’m not the mastermind. Monokuma is here to deliver the new motives.” He held up two envelopes (AN: Monokubs don’t exist).  
“Upupupup! I see you are working just fine now so I thought I would get the game back on track.” Monokuma laughed.  
“Game?! This isn’t a fucking game!” I snapped, rage boiling in me. The pain and torment! The constantly dying and constant torture! None of this is a game! It’s hell! I’m living in hell and I can’t leave! 

“Anyway, you’re busy right now Monokuma. Shoo shoo... I want some alone time with my sweet Shuichi.” Kokichi pretended to swoon.  
“Oh my. The youth of today have so much energy.” Monokuma said before he disappeared.  
“Y-Your sweet Shuichi?” My cheeks were hot as I repeated what he said.   
“Oh my~” Kokichi smirked at me, walking over, “Did that get your heart fluttering?” Yes. Yes it did. It absolutely did. I simply gulped as he stopped right in front of me, “Sorry! Emo detectives just aren’t my thing.” He laughed.

Argh! What did I expect? They said he’s into Kaede and they did date! I need to respect her more and Kokichi... there is no way Kokichi would love me right now.   
Kokichi turned away with a spin, hands behind his back, “Shall we leave now? The others are very anxious in seeing you again.” 

“Do you hate me?”

I couldn’t stop myself from asking that question. 4 words that make me so anxious... That has been plaguing me since yesterday. Kokichi stopped walking, clutching the envelopes hard that it crumples a bit. That has to be a bad sign.  
“I... I...” Kokichi turned to look at me, “I do. Why is it that when Kaede died, her final words were directed at you?! I am the one dating her!” He snapped, “You were always in my way! You were annoying... Why would I get along with my love rival?!”

When Kokichi realised he let his mask down, he took a deep breath in and smiled. “That’s a lie! Or is it? I won’t tell you~” He slowly walked back to me, “Before we leave, we should check watch the motives are! Mine feels a bit heavier than yours.”   
“Ah... I don’t think we should do that. We should see what the others think first...” I went along with his conversation, my heart racing a mile an hour. He hates me... There is no way he was lying... He actually hates me. 

“I...” My voice was stuck at the back of my throat as I watched Kokichi put his hand on the door handle. Kokichi looked back at me. Should I tell him? I can’t tell him... I need to focus on saving everyone! Not my love life.   
“What is it?” Kokichi snapped me out of my thoughts.  
“I...” I gulped, clutching my shirt at my heart, “I... I don’t want to be hated by you. I want to hang together.” 

Kokichi let go of the handle and turned to face me, “Do you...? Even though I...” He what? No... it doesn’t matter.  
“It doesn’t matter... I don’t want to fight. I don’t want you to be the villain. I want to be with you.” I want you to survive. I will save you. “Let’s escape together.” I smiled to him.  
Kokichi looked confused, conflicted. What I said seems to be really affecting him... 

The smaller boy quickly turned around, opening the door and quickly leaving, “KOKICHI!” I called out but didn’t chase him. Why did... why is he so against that?


	10. Chapter 10

*Shuichi’s POV*

It’s been a couple days and I’ve come to notice Kokichi is now avoiding me. Please don’t avoid me Kokichi... I want to see you... I want to be with you... I will do anything for you. I want you to hug me and stroke my hair gently... speak to me gently and reassure me when I’m in doubt. I love you, Kokichi.

** No you don’t. **

I shivered when I heard a voice whisper into my ear. No... I don’t? What is it saying? I love Kokichi! I love him so so much!

** No you don’t. You love the idea of him. **

The idea? How can someone love the idea of someone? I love Kokichi as a person...

** No you don’t. You just want his affection... You are starved of affection. You could never love Kokichi. **

“YOU’RE WRONG!” I yelled out, hitting the table with my fists.   
“Woah, Shuichi!” I felt Kaito put his hand on my shoulder, “Are you okay? You seem so out of it.”   
“Ah... I’m sorry Kaito.” I gave him a weak smile, “I’m just a bit tired.”   
“Do you want to go to bed? It’s a bit early but I will get Kirumi leave some sandwiches for you to eat in front of your room.” Kaito offered, earning a nod from me. I looked to the others sitting around the table. I slowly stood up, quietly leaving the room. Everyone seemed so shocked... I’ve been causing so many issues for people in this timeline. 

I took a deep breath in as I walked, only going at a slow pace. I need to relax. I should try relaxing. My nerves are causing people stress and worry... I shouldn’t make them worry. Maybe I should check in on Kokichi... Ahh but he’s obviously avoiding me for a reason. I wish I knew what’s wrong with him. 

** Why are you holding back when you love him? **

Shut up.

** Stop trying to save everyone. If you love Kokichi, shouldn’t he be all that matters. **

Don’t be stupid. That’s corrupt... Just because I love Kokichi, doesn’t mean I don’t love the others.

** Kokichi has never lived when you try to save everyone. **

I stopped dead in my tracks, sweat coming from my forehead. He’s... He’s right... I’ve reset so many times but Kokichi never lives when I try saving everyone. I have managed to have everyone else leave expect him.

** What if your only way to escape this cycle is to make sure Kokichi lives? **

I felt my heart pick up and my breathing become unsteady. What if..?

** Don’t worry about anyone else. Those other people don’t matter if you can be with the one you love after all. **

“NO! SHUT UP! PLEASE SHUT UP!” I yelled out, starting to run. I wanted to run. I wanted to escape. I don’t know where it’s coming from! It’s not me... these are not my thoughts! I don’t want anyone else to die.

** Being hurt so much... tortured by Kokichi himself; wouldn’t it be all better if it just ended? Even if it meant losing everyone else. **

“No no no no no! Shut up. Shut up!” I opened my door, slamming it shut. I went to my bed, climbing on and wrapping the blanket around me and covering my ears. What is this?! Why is it happening to me? 

The screen in my room suddenly buzzed on, “Ahem. Attention everyone! It seems that no one has paid attention to the last motive I gave, so I decided to introduce another one. Currently, a disease has spread to some students and is currently effecting their mental well being.” Monokuma started. What? What is he on about? I looked at the screen both confused and curious.   
“Since you may be interested, the disease is trying to bring each person’s darkest desires to light. If the person is too weak, they may fall into the trap and be affected.” Wait... darkest desires? T-That cant be me... no way... no way! I don’t want that! I don’t want to give up. 

“To make this game more interesting: there is no cure. Even if someone dies, those who are affected will continue to be affected.” Monokuma continued, “Have a beautifullll day!” The screen flashed off, leaving me alone in the dark room. No... No way! No way! No way! No way! Why me? Why is it always me?? Why can’t it be someone else?   
My face scrunched up and my heart squeezed. What am I thinking? I don’t want anyone else to suffer like I am... Knock. Knock. Knock. “Shuichi?” I heard Kokichi’s voice from the other side of the door.

** Just make him yours. **


	11. Chapter 11

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I rubbed my head as I sat up, looking around. My eyes landed on Kokichi who was sleeping peacefully right next to me. I remember what happened... but I don’t feel guilty? I did something horrible- I know it is meant to be horrible- but I don’t feel any guilt. 

I jumped when a buzz went off, it was the morning announcement. I did it for Kokichi so long... He won’t be able to walk anywhere today- he might be in pain for a number of days.  
I felt Kokichi stir next to me, once again gaining my attention. His eyes flickered open slowly and he spotted me. I want him... I want him I want him I want him. I want to take him again and make him mine. I quickly pulled myself away and fell off the bed.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, Kokichi!” I bowed down, my forehead on the ground. I am apologising but that’s just for show... I really don’t feel any remorse. I kind of feel disgusted with that lack of emotions.  
It was quiet, only the sound of the bedsheets moving could be heard until, “Ow.” Kokichi cried out.  
I quickly stood up, “Don’t move! You won’t be able to sit or walk today... Please relax.” He can’t escape. He can’t escape... It means he’s mine.

Kokichi shot me a glare, making me step back. His expression dropped, “It’s fine... I assume you were one of the few who were infected by that motive?” Kokichi laid back down. “Didn’t think your darkest desire was to do as you will to me.”  
He’s acting. I felt a rage bubble inside of me. He’s acting... He’s not actually mine. He’s not actually mine yet...

“Upupupup!” Monokuma suddenly appeared, making me jump.  
“Monokuma!” I yelled out, stepping away.  
“My my Kokichi... Look at the state you’re in. You young ones have so much energy.” Monokuma squirmed while blushing. He’s so creepy, “I hope you can continue to keep up with it.”  
“Huh?” Kokichi’s face dropped.  
“What’s the surprised look? I told you there is no cure and it will not end... Shuichi doesn’t feel guilty... He probably plans to do it all over again.” 

Monokuma! How dare he! My face showed my anger as Kokichi’s face drained of colour. Kokichi pushes away the shit covers and ran out of bed, but instantly collapsing- his legs couldn’t hold him up. I walked over and slowly picked up the smaller boy princess style.  
“MONOKUMA! HOW DARE YOU!” I glared at where the bear use to stand but he was already gone. Kokichi started to squirm in my arms.  
“Let go! Let go of me! You’re crazy! You’re insane! I don’t care if it’s the motive! Don’t touch me again!” 

I got annoyed by all the squirming and threw Kokichi onto the bed, “Don’t be an idiot. Your body wasn’t my deepest desire...” I turned away and started to pick up the clothes on the floor.  
“Then what is it?! Why did you do this to me?!” Kokichi shouted back to me.  
“My deepest desire that took over me was to make you mine.” I walked to him, grabbing his chin, and dropping the clothes on to my bed, “I don’t care about your body... I will make you mine through any means.” 

Kokichi moved back, flinching from his own pain. I didn’t let my hand leave his chin, I won’t ever let him leave. “You can’t escape me in this state... You won’t ever escape me.”  
I leaned forward, gently kissing Kokichi on the lips and closing my eyes. His lips feel so good... I’m so gla- 

I coughed, pulling back as blood was now splattered on Kokichi’s face. Why is there blood? Is that my blood...? “I-I’m sorry... for... dirtying you...” I managed to cough out, stumbling back. I saw Kokichi clutching his pants, a knife in his other hand that was covered in a pink substance. 

Black was overtaking my vision. Am I... going to die? I can’t die! I don’t have Kokichi yet... I don’t have...

“...Kokichi...”

~~~~~

I sat up with a gasp, quickly holding onto my throat. My mind rushed to what happened in the previous life... I did... I what... What overtook me? I... my face paled and I quickly rushed to the bathroom, emptying my stomach into the toilet. How could I..?  
I hit the side of the toilet in frustration, “Each time... it just seems to get worse.”  
All I could do was sigh, grabbing toilet paper to wipe my face before dumping it in the toilet and flushing as I stood up. I hate this... I just want it to end. 

I looked down at my hands, my memory flashing back to Kokichi’s small frame under me as he squirmed and struggled to escape. At least... I know I feel guilty again. The motive didn’t follow me. I’m glad I died...  
My eyes widened when I realised my death means Kokichi died as well.  
“DAMN IT!” He still dies?! Why can’t I ever save him?! I need to do something... anything for him! My goal is to save him and him alone! 

What am I thinking?! That’s... That’s what I was thinking when the motive effected me. No no! The deepest desire that succeeded was my want to make Kokichi mine... not to just give up and run away with Kokichi.  
WHY ARE THEY ALL BASED ON KOKICHI?! 

“Upupupup! You seemed conflicted!” A certain bear appeared out of nowhere, making me jump.  
“AHH! What are you doing here?!” I yelled out, taking a step away. I hate the fact I still have to see his ugly face in every universe I enter.  
“I am here to inform you the director is trying to contact you.”  
“T-The director..?” I tilted my head, confused. Director? What director? Why would he want to contact me?

“Your acting is as good as always, Shuichi. However, you don’t need to pretend around me as if you don’t know you’re the mastermind.” I froze at those words. 

Me... the mastermind? I... am the mastermind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post. I did have a smut of what happened but I decided I thought it would be better if I didn’t post it.


	12. Chapter 12

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I sat in front of a computer, a unknown man staring at me through it. “Shuichi Saihara, we have thought of the next motive and will have it to you by tomorrow afternoon.” The man told me, “The viewers will love it.” I see... So this world is being broadcasted too.  
“I understand.”  
“We will be taking a page out of SDR2 and will release the virus known as despair disease. Just like the original, we will remove the disease once someone dies.”  
Despair... disease? That doesn’t sound good. 

“Was no other option suggested? Isn’t it a bit early for that?” I spoke up. A disease?! I rather not! If I’m the mastermind, I have the best hand to try to save everyone. Yes... EVERYONE. My focus isn’t Kokichi... That isn’t me... I have NO interest in Kokichi Ouma!  
“The other option is to bring out some of their pregame versions temporarily...”  
Pregame? So like a personality change? That sounds way better than a disease.

“That... sounds much more interesting.” I tried to put on a smirk as evil as I could muster. Then... the call dropped with my smirk quickly following.  
Still though... the mastermind of all things?! 

~~~~~

I was in the dinning hall, eating breakfast with everyone else. I can’t look at Kokichi at all... Too much has happened between him and I. I know this is a different Kokichi but still... I can’t get over trauma like it’s nothing.  
“Shuichi is so mean! Ignoring me and won’t even look at me!” I heard Kokichi whine, “I am don’t remember doing anything mean!”  
“Shut it Kokichi!”  
“Not even being able to look at cockichi... Did you have a lewd dream of him?” Miu teased, making me go red. 

My mind flashed back to what I did to him... what he did to me... I feel sick. “Excuse me...” I stood up, making my way to leave, “I am not well today. I will be resting in my room.” I wasted no time in leaving.  
Argh... I feel like I haven’t had any decent interactions with anyone but Kokichi for awhile now. When Kokichi was ignoring me, all I could think about was why he was ignoring me. I just don’t understand why I became so obsessed in that universe. 

I opened the door to my room, quickly entering. I noticed my laptop was still out...  
“Monokuma.” I called out. The bear appeared immediately, “Can you hide that laptop properly until I call for it again?”  
“Do you have no respect for your elders? Am I a servant to you?!” The bear shouted and grumbled under his breath, but he still went over and picked it up before leaving. That was... rather easy. 

I flopped onto the bed. It feels so easy now that I don’t have to figure out who the mastermind is. Maybe I should just tell them I’m the mastermind...  
No no... The bear can be controlled remotely from what I seen. They will easily control the game without me being here. It’s just more fun is the mastermind was actually in the game. I need someone else to figure it out.

You will need to die for everyone else to live when the game ends.

I... don’t want to die. I thought this would be easy... I pulled my pillow into a hug, “This might be the worst one yet.” Why... does it keep getting worse?! I just... as long as I die quick and painlessly.. and don’t assault anyone...  
I buried my face into the pillow, my body starting to tremble. Stop thinking of it... stop thinking of it. Maybe I can try to make up to him by making sure this Kokichi lives... I mean I don’t know if the universe continues even if I die or am I just bought back. I ruined the last Kokichi but I will try my best for him and everyone else! 

I closed my eyes tightly, hoping to get some sleep. A well deserved sleep. I need to relax... I know how I will make this game end. I mean Kokichi I’d rather smart so it will be like nothing for him to figure out.  
Deep breaths... maybe count some sheep... 

~~~~~~

I woke up, relaxed. I haven’t had such a good sleep for such a long time. I guess no fear of what the mastermind will do doesn’t make me restless because I am the mastermind. I stretched, slipping out of the bed I was sleeping in. On my desk was an envelope I didn’t recognise...  
“Is this the new motive?” I mumbled out loud, walking to my desk and opening the envelope.

‘You lose.’ Was written and a Monokuma with tears was drawn on. “You lose?” I looked confused. I obviously won’t be infected because I’m the mastermind, so I guess losing means you won’t return to your pregame personality temporarily. Good to know. I returned the sheet to the envelope and put it back down. 

My eyes shifted to the clock. Everyone should be in the dinning hall for dinner. I should join them.


	13. Chapter 13

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I knew of the existence of our “real” personalities but I never thought they could bring it back. I thought the old us were completely dead...  
I made my way to the dinning hall, my heart racing at the thought of what could happen.  
Wait wait! Those could be fakes... they could’ve just been tricking us with those videos to throw us off guard. 

I slowly entered the hall, smelling chicken as I did so. So I can make the assumption Kirumi is fine.  
“S-Shuichi!” A small and scared voice called out to me, small footsteps could be heard running my way. Kokichi is so... timid? “Shuichi! I-I... I missed you!” I felt my waist get hugged tightly. His body was shaking so much that I didn’t know how to react.  
“Kokichi...?” I said his name confused before I pushed him back gently. What if I get infected with whatever happened last game and hurt him again?

Even though I pushed him away for his safety, his eyes told me he was completely hurt by being pushed away. “S-Shuichi...? Are you... are you okay...?”  
“Ah Shuichi! I’m glad you seem to be fine.” I heard Kaito’s voice, making me look towards him. I felt Kokichi move behind me, grabbing the back of my shirt as he hid. He’s scared of Kaito?  
“Hey Kaito. You seem to be normal...? What’s up with Kokichi?” I asked, pretending to be confused.  
“It’s not just Kokichi... a few others changed but most of them ran off. Kokichi stayed because he wanted to find you and we said you would come here.” Kirumi explained as she started to put plates on the table.

“Apparently this is our “real personalities” or something. Monokuma came to tell us individually.” Rantaro spoke up as he took his usual seat. Maybe bringing these personalities for the first motive wouldn’t be a smart idea. It would bring so much distrust between everyone so quickly.  
“I like Kokichi much better this way! He isn’t so annoying.”  
Kokichi just gripped the back of my shirt tighter, “He seems rather touchy like this though...” I laughed a bit. 

Everyone looked to each other, the room filling with silence. Did I say something wrong?  
“He... won’t let any of us touch him. This is just to you...” Rantaro broke the silence. Wait... just to me? Were we good friends before all this happened? I turned my head to eye Kokichi from the side. He was trembling but peeking to everyone from behind.  
“Hey, Kokichi.” I spoke up, immediately gaining his attention, “Let’s eat?” The smaller boy didn’t respond with words, only nodding. 

As we sat down, Kokichi spoke up, “Do you hate me, Shuichi?” Such a meek voice didn’t suit him. It’s weird when he’s not so full of life.  
“No.” I shook my head, “That’s not it.” I’m just scared I will hurt you.  
“Is it the white...?” Kokichi looked at his clothes, “You always said bright colours dont suit me. Monokuma says he will bring my uniform later.”  
“Huh?” I looked confused.  
“I-I’m sorry! You don’t remember... Ah you might just prefer the other Kokichi over me.” The boy looked down, completely upset.  
This one is so cute. I slowly reached over and pat his head, “It’s okay... I like both sides of you.” I smiled gently at him. The boy lifted his head, blushing before nuzzling into my hand. How affectionate.

“Of course you two immediately started going into your own world.” Kaede’s voice snapped me out of my appreciation of the smaller boy and I looked to the doorway. Kaede was standing there in a blue uniform? It’s the ones she started with when we first woke up... Is that what he means old uniforms? A scowl was on Kaede’s face and Kokichi leaned closer to me.  
“Oi, Kokichi, you’re in my spot.” She walked closer to us and Kokichi immediately stood up. So she’s pregame too? She’s so mean! This is a complete shock! Is everyone just the complete opposite in pregame? 

“Sorry Kaede but Kokichi got here first.” I spoke up.  
Kaede glared at me, “Seriously? You’re letting him sit beside you before me?”  
“N-No... it’s okay... I-I can sit somewhere else...” Kokichi stuttered, stepping away.  
Instinctively I grabbed his wrist, pulling him down so he was forced to sit down. Kokichi’s eyes widened as he looked at me, a large blush suddenly covering his cheeks. 

Kaede kicked the back of Kokichi’s chair before turned away, moving and sitting the opposite side of me. She’s so mean but she wants to be near me? What’s with her.  
I looked at the plate that Kirumi place in front of me and Kokichi, “I hope you enjoy.” She bowed a bit before leaving. She’s not going to say anything else?  
Even though I questioned it, I’m not surprised. Kaede’s eyes were digging holes into me and the pressure scared me. Probably the same with Kirumi. 

I simply sighed, beginning to eat the meal in front of me.


	14. Chapter 14

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I was halfway through my meal when I noticed Kokichi hadn’t started to eat, “Are you not hungry?” He should be... I mean he looks like he is starving.  
“Y-You haven’t give me permission.” Clatter! My utensil fell from my hands as my jaw dropped. What type of person was I back then?!  
“You... dont need my permission here.” I smiled gently, reaching over and petting his head. I need to show this Kokichi I’m a better person. I’m not like pregame me OR the last game. That’s not me. That will... never be me.

“Shuichi? Are you okay? You’re pale...” Kokichi asked, leaning in. I slowly pulled my hand away.   
“Y-Yeah...” I looked away, “Just a bad memory. How about you just eat?”   
“Alright.” Kokichi turned to his food.

~~~~~

I kept walking, and walking. It’s just a coincidence, right? He just wants to go back to his room, right? I stopped walking, hearing the smaller boy also stop. I turned around and faced Kokichi, “What are you doing?”  
“F-Following you...” He answered, twiddling his thumbs.  
“Why?”  
“W-We are going to have sex right?”   
Ba-thump. My cheeks went red and I stepped back. “W-What?! W-Why would we d-do that?!” This is so embarrassing. I couldn’t do it with him... especially after the last timeline. I rather avoid him. 

“I-I’m sorry! Do you not like me?! D-Do we not do that? I-I want to do that...” Kokichi looked down, blushing madly.  
“N-No... That’s just...” I let out a m frustrated sigh. What’s with him? “I don’t think we sho-“   
Kokichi pulled me down quickly, pressing his lips against mine. My heart picked up and my eyes widened. What? Whattt? Such a meek person taking the lead like this? Kokichi quickly stopped the kiss, “D-Do you want to now?” 

“Kokichi...” My face felt so hot, “W-We really ca-“ I was cut off by lips smashing on mine again. He’s... acting just like the mastermind one! I panicked and pushed him away. My arm instantly started to wipe my lips, “Don’t do that! You can’t just force me to doing it! You have to respect me!” I shouted. Ahh my body keeps shaking. Stop shaking... Stop shaking please! 

I turned away from the assailant and quickly entered my room, slamming the door shut. My heart was pounding so hard I felt like my chest would burst. This Kokichi is dangerous... I might give in if he keeps it up but this Kokichi is temporary... The Kokichi I know may not be happy.   
I heard a knock at the door, my heart stopping, “S-Shuichi... I’m sorry. I-I didn’t think you were so against it... I-I promise I won’t do it again s-so please open the door.”   
He wants me to let him in? Why? He’s so persistant!

“Please... Shuichi...” A soft plea came from the other side. I let out a sigh, opening the door to my room. The other boy looked like he was on the verge of tears.   
“It’s... okay...” How am I meant to be mad or freaked at someone like this? He just makes me want to protect him. Kokichi quickly hugged my waist, squeezing tightly.  
“Please don’t throw me away, Shuichi. I know everything... I understand you the best.” Kokichi spoke gently, “I will always be here for you... so rely on me.” 

Kokichi says he knows everything but I doubt he does. I don’t think anyone will ever know what I’m going through... I don’t think anyone will really understand.   
The smaller boy’s eyes scanned me, he seemed to pick up a reaction or something. He saw something that encouraged him to continue, “You can tell me anything... You can trust me...” I felt a tug at my heart. His words really made me want to confess everything, to rely on him. I am just so desperate to tell someone without looking like I’m crazy. I felt a couple of tears fall from my eyes.   
“See... it hurts you to hold it in. Please tell me... I won’t tell anyone...” I felt a thumb gently wipe away my tears. My mouth trembled, words wanting to spill out. Why do I feel this way? Why does his eyes, words, voice, and touch make me want to speak? 

Isn’t it because... he’s the first to ask and notice? 

“I know about your timelines...” 

He knows. Kokichi knows... It’s safe to tell him. Tears flooded from my eyes, “K-Kokichi... I... Is it okay if I tell you?”   
“Yeah... Please tell me. I will listen to everything...”


	15. Chapter 15

*Kokichi’s POV*

I gently stroked Shuichi’s hair, his head was resting on my lap as I sat on the edge of the bed. He was sleeping peacefully... something he deserved after crying so much. The red under his eyes did make him look cute too... Shuichi looks good at all times after all!

~~~~

_“How do you know about all this?” Shuichi asked after he told me everything he went through.  
“It is something you agreed to. You cannot return to who you use to be but I will love you no matter who you are.” I answered, a soft smile on my lips._

_ I’m such a liar. Shuichi would never agree to such a thing.  _

~~~~

I couldn’t stand waiting so long for Shuichi to be mine! I needed to stay with him for a bit. I don’t want Shuichi to break after all so I thought this is a good chance to make his life that bit more easier... Just a small break.   
A small groan came from my love; Shuichi slowly opened his eyes.   
“G-Good morning... or night...” I laughed awkwardly.   
“Kokichi... do you know how to make this stop?” Seriously?! That’s the first thing you say when you wake up?! How annoying...   
“There are conditions you must meet... but I cannot tell you.” I hummed. He trusts me so much... just believing every word I say! 

Too bad I’m such a liar. The only way you can leave is...

No no... I shouldn’t think about it. Just need to focus on achieving it. 

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*

I slowly sat up, “Sorry... I shouldn’t have cried so much on you.” I apologised to Kokichi. It feels like so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders... and he doesn’t blame me for what happened. He... doesn’t blame me and is not scared of me...   
“It’s okay.” I felt a hand gently cup my cheek, “It has been hard.”   
I felt tears start to well up. No! Don’t cry again! It’s been enough! I gently placed my hand above his, leaning into the hand as I closed my eyes. 

“Thank you, Kokichi. I feel so much better now. If it wasn’t for you, Kaito, and Kaede... I wouldn’t be able to handle everything happening to me. I wouldn’t be able to keep going.” I confessed. I could feel Kokichi’s hand twitch for a moment.   
“Well, I don’t know about the other two but you can definitely count on me. I will be on your side forever... I will be the backbone you need...” Kokichi whispered gently, “I know you hurt me and I hurt you in the other timelines, but that isn’t us now. So please... Don’t push me away again.” 

Ahh... I’m so stupid. Kokichi has always been my side, yet because of my issues, I pushed him away. I hurt him.   
“I’m sorry... I’m really sorry.” I lowered my head in shame, “I wasn’t thinking of you... I mean I was... I was just worried I would hurt you. Yet my concern hurt you.”   
“No no, it’s okay. Just remember that that wasn’t really you. You have control...”

Woah.. This Kokichi is so serious and helpful and understanding. “I see your stutter stopped.” I laughed a bit.   
“Oh... umm...” He looked away, “You don’t know this me but... When I’m with you, I am calm and confident. I don’t stutter or anything unless I start to panic.”   
“I’m glad you trust me.” This Kokichi... I just have no words to describe him. I’m just glad I opened that door and let him in. I’m glad I met him.   
Kokichi suddenly blushed, “So... since you’re feeling better...” He awkwardly looked away, but his red ears showed he was just getting more embarrassed, “...can we do it?” 

I felt my face heat up and my heart pick up, “I-I’m sorry Kokichi but I don’t think I h-hold such strong feelings for you yet. W-Well I think I might but previous times still make it hard for me.” I looked away awkwardly. I could hear my heart so loudly in my ears and it just makes me more anxious. I probably hurt his feelings again by rejecting him, but I just don’t find it comfortable.   
“Tsk.” Tsk? My blush faded and I looked at Kokichi confused. He looked angry but then looked into my eyes seriously, “Then at least let me sleep with you tonight! In the same bed.”

Is this the type of relationship Kokichi and I had before? It really feels like we were lovers... I just feel like hearing the answer will be too embarrassing so I won’t ask.   
“That’s perfectly fine... After all you did for me...” I might not feel comfortable sleeping with him but I want to repay what he did. I just still don’t understand why I relaxed so easily with him... Did I just need to speak to someone that badly?

I stood up from the bed, “Kokichi... I don’t want to die again. I don’t want you to die either.” I walked to the desk and took a seat, “I want to save everyone... but mostly... I don’t think I can keep going through this if you aren’t there. If YOU, as in this Kokichi right now, wasn’t there.” I opened the drawer next to me, pulling out a pen and paper, “I need to create an escape plan.”   
“But you don’t even know the conditions to escape...”   
“Even so... if I die, I still want the others to continue to live just in case the universe continues on without me.” 

“It doesn’t.”

I froze before turning to Kokichi, “It can’t.” His eyes were serious. Why wouldn’t they be? He knows more than me so I have to assume he’s telling the truth.   
“Why not..?”   
“I... cannot say.” He looked away. Of course he cannot say. Can he tell me anything?!   
“Doesn’t matter. If I fulfill the conditions, then who I am with will continue to live. I don’t want people dying when I can save them.” I turned back to the paper. I need to write everything I know.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! I hope you’re still enjoying the chapters and like which way the story is going!

*Shuichi’s POV*  
It was getting late. Well it was late; almost 2am. I had written so much to try to help myself remember, but it seems I have made the smaller boy wait too long. I felt gently lips slide across my neck, making it hard to concentrate.   
“Kokichi... I said I don’t feel comfortable doing it.” I pulled away, “I’m sorry for making you wait. We can sleep now.” I stood up, turning to face the other boy.  
“I-I’m sorry.” Once again, I made him upset. I need to stop making him upset! 

“Please don’t be upset, Kokichi!” I panicked, unsure what to do. How do I cheer him up? Ah... Umm... I closed my eyes tightly, a light blush covering my cheeks as I leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips.  
I pulled back, not even opening my eyes as I walked past him and went straight to the bed to pick up my pyjamas before going to the bathroom, closing the door. I can’t believe I kissed him! Wait... would this mean I’m leading him on? My heart is still pounding so much...   
Do I love him? No no no! The only reason I loved Kokichi so much in the last timeline was because of that thing Monokuma did... not anything else. Calm down heart! Calm down! It must have just carried on.

~~~~~~

*Kokichi’s POV*  
I watched Shuichi enter the bathroom before closing the door, my hand gently touching my lips. I didn’t think he would kiss me so soon... This plan might have been better than I originally thought it would be. I walked to the door, gently pressing my hand on it, “Shuichi...” I called out softly.  
“I’m sorry, Kokichi...” The boy gently spoke, his voice coming from closer to the ground. He must’ve slid down. I slowly went to my knees so I could match his height.  
“What is wrong?”   
“I... I think the other timeline might still be affecting me.”   
The other... Ohh... haha! He must really be falling for me. I guess he was so desperate for the comfort of others that just listening is enough! Ahh but I guess *Kokichi* has been rather helpful in other timelines and was always by his side... I guess it might be a build up... I remember watching the timelines where Shuichi would be my boyfriend! Shame he didn’t really love me then...

“That’s not possible, Shuichi.” I spoke up, “You know very well it isn’t.”  
“But I...”   
“But you what...?”  
Silence fell between the two of us. So he can’t admit it, huh? My Shuichi is so cute... I am so glad I made him. I want to touch him so badly.   
“Kokichi, it’s still so hard.” Shuichi begun, “I feel better talking to you but I want it to stop... I want everything to stop.” I heard him begin to cry again. Seriously?! He is that upset about all this?! Fucking bullshit. 

“You know... you can use me to forget. You won’t be able to escape this timeline... you can’t ever fulfill the conditions needed in this timeline so why don’t you use me instead? Make things easier.” I spoke up, my voice shaking bit. I was embarrassed but I was also scared of rejection.  
“Why... can’t I meet the conditions..?”   
“I can’t tell you that,” I gently placed my hand on the handle, “But you can use it as a break. Use me as much as you want to forget.” Please accept it!   
“Use... you?” Shuichi seemed confused by my words. How innocent and naive.  
“I can give you pleasure...” My voice lowered.

Shuichi had gone silent again. Am I pushing too much? Doesn’t matter... I know he will cave in.   
“Shuichi? Please... say something.”   
“You... are only temporary. Until someone dies.”   
He has a point... I only last until someone dies. “You are the mastermind... you can make Monokuma keep me.”   
I finally pushed down on the handle, wanting to push it open. As expected, Shuichi’s body was pressing against the bathroom door and stopping me from opening it. 

“Can I... ask Monokuma to end the game?” Damn it Shuichi! Why won’t you focus on me?! I want you to focus on me alone!  
“You can’t... he will just kill you and find another.” I answered.  
“What if I tell everyone else I can travel timelines and I am the mastermind?! We can have a final trial and they can vote me, leave, while I....” His voice started to trail off. He doesn’t want to die. I mean why wouldn’t he?   
“You are not allowed to tell anyone else.” There is nothing stopping him but I would rather he not do that. I can’t get him to rely on me alone if he can talk to everyone.

“THEN WHAT CAN I DO?!”


	17. Chapter 17

*Shuichi’s POV*  
“I... I CANT DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS!” I felt tears stream from my eyes as I yelled out, gripping my hair tightly. I hit the back of my head against the door a few times.   
“Stop! Stop it, Shuichi!” I heard Kokichi yell from the other side, “Let me in! Don’t seclude yourself!”   
I pulled away from the door, “Leave me alone for awhile, Kokichi!” I walked to the shower more, turning on the water to cold and stepping inside. I need to cool down. I need to calm down and try to think of how I will get out of here... How I can save everyone else. It’s so useless! I have to die for everyone else to escape! I don’t want to die... I really don’t want to die again! 

I felt a hand gently tug at my wet arm, making me turn around from the wall I was facing. Kokichi was there, smiling softly. I should have locked the door. Kokichi leaned up, gently kissing me on the lips. His lips were so warm and soft compared to the freezing water pelting at my skin and clothes. Wearing clothes was a stupid idea... Well, I guess it’s not a surprise it comes from me then.   
Kokichi closed his eyes, deepening the kiss. It feels good... It feels comfortable... I also closed my eyes, leaning in and kissing back. 

I didn’t notice Kokichi’s hands unbuttoning my jacket but the sudden more direct feeling of the cold, and his warm finger tips pressing against my shirt to start to undo it, made me notice. I broke off the kiss, “Don’t... Kokichi... You shouldn’t stand under this cold water.” My cheeks felt very hot but I need to focus on stopping this smaller and more fragile boy from getting sick.   
“Shuichi... didn’t that feel good?” The smaller boy raised his eyes to look at me, his hands continuing to work my shirt, “It helped you ignore things didn’t it...?” 

I felt a finger slowly trail from the top of my chest, down. I pulled away, “Thank you Kokichi.” I smiled gently, “I feel much better now. We shouldn’t do much else.” I changed the temperature of the water, letting it become a nice warmth.   
Kokichi seemed to only pout before letting out a sigh, “Okay. I’m just glad you’re feeling better. Just know I’m always here for you.”   
I feel so bad for always pushing him away but I can’t do it... the idea of doing it just disgusts me right now.

~~~~~

*Kokichi’s POV*  
I sat on Shuichi’s bed in one of his shirts, it being massive compared to me. The detective was so focused on figuring out a plan that he probably forgot about me.  
Ahh this would be so much easier on him if he just accepted me... I would let everyone else go too since they won’t be needed.  
“Kokichi.” Shuichi’s voice perked me up, “is my constant resetting related to you?” My cutie is very smart.   
“I cannot say...” I stood up and made my way to him, resting my hand on his, “Don’t overwork, Shuichi. Should we watch a movie tomorrow?”  
“A movie....”

~~~~~

The next day, I was resting my head on Shuichi’s shoulder as we watched a movie. I wanted my love to enjoy his time around me but instead he is stiff and anxious.  
“Relax, Shuichi.”   
“How can I relax when any moment someone ca-“  
“Relax. You will be useless if you overwork yourself. Monokuma will tell you if someone is going to take action.” I snuggled into him more.  
“H-He would...?” I felt Shuichi shift to face me.  
“He would.” I leaned up and kissed him on the lips, “I am here for you. Relax.” 

Argh! Stupid Shuichi! I need you to be completely and helplessly in love with me. I don’t know how to get that! Though you clearly react better when I’m gentle... is that because of the mastermind Kokichi I inserted into the program?   
Maybe he will stop struggling if I tortured him that way a bit mo-

My train of thought was interrupted when the taller boy placed his head on my lap, laying on the couch, “If I accidentally fall asleep... please do not die.” Shuichi spoke softly. 

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*  
I opened my eyes slowly, noticing my head still on a lap. My heart immediately stated to pound as I stared at the movie screen. Will he turn out dead like the last time I was on that situation? I don’t... I don’t want to see... I shouldn’t have slept in public.  
“I’m still alive...” Kokichi’s soft voice whispered into my ear, my nerves immediately calming down.   
I turned my head and looked up, “I’m sorry... did I sleep long?”  
“It’s okay. I got another movie playing... you wouldn’t wake up even when I lifted your head.” He chuckled softly.

I slowly sat up, “What time is it...? Did we miss lunch?”   
“Dont worry, I wouldn’t have let you sleep that long. I know you were worried.” Kokichi... really knows me well.  
“I-I... I’m glad... You use to be so helpful and a reliable person in all timelines until you... you were...” I choked at my words.   
“It’s okay.” Kokichi lifted his hand to cup my cheek, our eyes meeting, “I understand. I’m with you and will never betray you.” 

I smiled gently as I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes, “Can we have sex yet?”  
“Kokichi, dont ruin this moment...” I didn’t open my eyes as I responded to that question.   
“Do you... love me..?”  
That question made me pull away, my heart picking up and my cheeks started to burn. I bought my hands up to try to block out Kokichi’s face, “W-What are you asking?!”   
“Do you love me? Will you love me? How can I make you love me?”   
“I-I don’t thin-“  
“JUST LOVE ME ALREADY!” My hands were held to the side and I was forced to look at the desperate face from the other, “I am impatient! I can’t keep waiting like this!”


	18. Chapter 18

*Kokichi’s POV*  
“I-I’m sorry... for my outburst.” I quickly let go and pulled away when I noticed his shocked expression. Why am I so emotional? Even Shuichi always commented on that in the past. Yet he turned out to be a disgusting and fr-   
“I...” Shuichi snapped me out of my thoughts and grabbed my attention, “I can’t... say if I’m at that point of love for you like you are to me... but I do find myself...” my heart picked up as he spoke and the wait was starting to kill me. Is he... is he really going to... 

“...falling in love with you...”

He said it. He said it he said it hesaidithesaidit! It’s working... my plan is definitely working. I need to push him more... I need to break him more in the shadows but be gentle in front of him. I need to tell my workers to make sure no one ever knows this is my plan. 

I had a few tears come up to my eyes from relief for knowing it is working, “W-Why... Why didn’t y-you tell me earlier..?”  
“It wasn’t the time... I didn’t think I was hurting you so much.” Shuichi gently pulled me into a hug, my heart picking up. I could hear his heart beat like crazy as my ear rested on his chest. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. He’s not lying to comfort me... I really am making him feel like this. “I don’t want you to leave me... ever... you’re the only one I can rely on.” My face is so hot. I am so happy to finally hear these words. I need more than this though. I need him to completely be mine. 

I felt soft lips attach to mine, making me close my eyes. Nothing can be as amazing as the first kiss after the one you love tell you they love you. Nothing could ever compare to this experience... yet my enjoyment is clouded by desire. The desire to make him unable to think or do anything if I wasn’t there...   
“Argh seriously? Making out in public?” A voice sounded from the doorway, immediately filling me with anger. Shuichi broke off the kiss, making me open my eyes to see his embarrassing state.

“S-Sorry! I-I didnt think others would come in!” Shuichi turned to the other. I want Shuichi to be one who would kiss me and hold me in front of others without caring at all. I need that Shuichi. How would I get that Shuichi any other way than through death?

~~~~~  
*Shuichi’s POV*  
It’s been a few days since Kokichi and I had our moment, but we haven’t moved much further since then. Instead, Kokichi has been more affectionate and understanding. I need to actually tell him... I will tell him now that I love him. I adore him. I cannot be without him. That once people start killing, I will protect him with everything I have. 

I slowly opened the door to the garden, prepared to meet Kokichi there. I had asked him to meet me because I wanted to do a few other things before I spoke to him. My heart was so loud in my ears. I can’t even hear myself think like this. Kokichi, you mean so muc-  
My heart stopped when I took upon the sight in the garden. “K-Ko... Kokichi!” I quickly ran to the small boy lying face down on the ground, pink oozing from his head. I picked up the boy in my arms, “Kokichi! Kokichi talk to me... Kokichi don’t leave me! Why are you so cold? D-Do you need a warm cup of hot chocolate? I can make it the way you like it.” He’s still not responding. He must be sleeping heavily, right? That’s it... Why?! Why is he the first death?! 

“KOKICHI PLEASE WAKE UP!”

~~~~~

I sat up from my bed, my hand going to my throat as tears streamed from my eyes. I... I was killed? I was killed... and I couldn’t protect Kokichi again. It’s been so many times since I failed to protect MY Kokichi after we started to date and now look... I’m useless. I’m so so useless.   
Knock! Knock! Knock! I jumped a bit in shock when I heard someone at the door. Who was it? Why is someone visiting me? Are they going to kill me? I can’t... I can’t go near others...   
“S-Shuichi... a-are you there...?” Kokichi’s voice spoke up. Kokichi? Why is he here? Why does he talk like that.   
“I-I... I think... I think I was killed...” I quickly rushed out of bed as he spoke and made my way to the door, “I can remember anything from the l-last t-“   
I opened the door to see tears streaming from his eyes.

“I-It hurt... It hurt so much... I was burning a-at one moment and then cold at another.” Innocent eyes looked up at me mixed with horror.   
I wrapped my arms around the smaller boy and pulled him into my room, closing the door and hugging him tightly, “I’m sorry... I’m so so sorry..” That was all my fault. I was distracted. It’s all my fault.   
“I-I don-“  
“It’s my fault. My fault. All of it.”   
“S-Stop...” Kokichi looked at my horrified. I knew it. I am scaring him. He knows I was the cause too. “S-Stop hurting yourself!” I felt my wrist near my neck was pulled away quickly.

Why did they decide to bring Kokichi back? Why is he back after all this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where the story takes another turn


	19. Chapter 19

*Shuichi’s POV*  
“W-What are you d-doing?!” Kokichi held my wrist tightly as he yelled at me, “Y-You scratched so hard that t-there is blood coming from your neck!” Ah... did I do that? I didn’t even realise I was scratching myself.   
“I’m sorry... I won’t do it again if it upsets you so much.” I smiled gently, leaning down and kissing Kokichi on the lips. This is my Kokichi.  
“S-Shuichi...? What’s w-with you? Did you die p-painfully or something? I didn’t think the trials l-lasted much longer without me...” Kokichi spoke softly as he rubbed my palm reassuringly. 

So this Kokichi only remembers that timeline?   
“Ah... Kokichi... I have... been in many games since that one.” I smiled, “I just... I just have been regretting I never told you how much I love you!”   
“Shuichi...” Kokichi’s mouth twitched into a smile and his eyes shined brightly, “You mean it?! You love me?!”   
“I do...” I leaned down, gently connecting our lips. Kokichi’s response was to close his eyes and kiss back, his hands resting on my shoulders. I am glad that my confession was taken so enthusiastically.

I gently pulled away from the kiss but I wasn’t far. My breath teased Kokichi’s lips as he opened his eyes and looked at my longingly. He really seems inlove with me more than I thought. How cute. My Kokichi is so so cute.   
“Kokichi! I thought of a different way I can try to save everyone.” I spoke up, grinning wildly as I turned away and went to my desk, “We will steal the rocket Kaito is meant to die on and send it flying so it shatters the cage we are in!” It’s such a smart plan! How did I not think of this before? I guess me before all this was super stupid. Ive been coming up with so many good plans these past few trials but none of them ever work.  
“Shuichi... Thats... Uhh”   
“It’s obviously a really good rocket if it didn’t break when it hit the ground on the way back.” 

I watched Kokichi take some steps back, looking at the ground. Oh no! Did I upset him? What did I do wrong? “You’re a failure.” He grumbled. What? I watched the boy lift his head, almost glaring at me, “Good bye, Shuichi Saihara.” 

~~~~~

*Kokichi’s POV*   
I sighed as I left another timeline. We are going to have to reprogram him back to death 50... maybe. I need to change my approach.  
I looked around at the other students surrounding me as they laid unconscious in hospital beds and gowns. Next to me was the one I was doing all of this for: Shuichi Saihara.   
I slipped out of the bed and stood next to him. Shuichi is going to wake up in a moment and stay awake until the team is ready to send him back to the point I need to change my actions to get what I want. I don’t mind Shuichi Saihara that exists right now because that took 40 timelines but... well... when he figured out I did everything he became too aggressive.

Cling. Cling. I heard metal scrape against metal, bringing me out of my thoughts. The fake detective was cuffed to the bed and gagged, a glare being directed at me. “Ha. Don’t look at me like that.” I scoffed at the restricted boy before me, “You deserve this. You deserve all of this for not loving me!” I am just doing this because we are meant to be! We are meant to be together! Muffled yells started to come from him. Muffled yells that were probably just insults to me. Maybe it would be easier just to lock him up forever. No... I don’t want that... I need him to think he actually loves me and I’m a good person. 

Shuichi will be mine.

~~~~~

*Shuichi’s POV*   
It was dark. Too dark. I’m hungry... I’m thirsty. How long has it been? How long has it been since I was trapped in this small room, alone? How long has it been since I found myself unable to stand because of how small it is? How long has it been since I lost my voice to yelling for help? It’s been too long I guess...   
I felt whatever I was leaning on move, making my heart skip a beat as I fell backwards. I closed my eyes, expecting to hit the floor, but someone caught me. I quickly opened my eyes to see... who my hero is.  
“K-Kokichi!” I yelled out shocked.  
“That’s my name~ Don’t wear it out.” His cheeky expression quickly changed to one of concern, “Don’t talk too much... your voice sounds like your throat is so close to being destroyed.”   
That’s weird. I didn’t think Kokichi would show genuine emotion. 

I simply nodded, closing my eyes and leaning on him. “You now owe me your life so you should join my super secret organisation! You would make a fine member.” The grape spoke softly but it was clear his intention was to lighten the mood. Haha I guess we would all be stressed after what happened. I wonder how long it’s been... I feel like I was going insane in there. That’s a lie... I think I’m long past the point of sanity. Ive died so many times... In fact I have been tortured so many times these last few timelines that I just don’t feel much for it anymore. I’m glad Kokichi is around... He’s my hero and the one I can rely on the most. I would do anything for him. 

“Hey... let’s get you to your room.” 

~~~~~

I was sitting on up my bed silently, an empty bottle of water and bowl of soup sitting on the bedside table next to me. Kokichi and I just kept staring at each other silently. Not only did he save me again, he is taking care of me again. He is way more kinder than he acted at the beginning.   
I guess you would be kind to someone you just rescued from being tortured or killed. It’s only natural... I think. 

Sometimes just being close to him makes my heart race... I think I might be in love with this kind and heroic side of him.   
“U-Umm... you seem pretty calm for someone who has been locked up for 5 days...”   
“5 DAYS?!” I shouted out shocked. It was that long?! I swear it was wayyy longer. I guess any longer would’ve killed me though.  
“Y-You didn’t kn- I guess it’s hard to tell time there.” Kokichi chuckled a bit before he went back to staring at me.

Silence filled the room again and I just smiled softly at the other boy.  
“A failure.” Kokichi suddenly spoke up, making me confused. He only sighed bef-

~~~~~

“I-I... I love Kaede...” I told Kokichi, “I have to.”   
“Please! Please don’t kill yourself! We need you!” Kokichi shouted to me, holding my wrists as I stood up on a chair with rope around my neck.  
“It’s okay. Nothing is real anyway! I will just reset and I can try to save her again!”   
“You... YOU FAILURE!”

~~~~~  
*Kokichi’s POV*

“Failure.”

“Failure.”

“You are a failure too.” 

“FAILURE!”

So many times and I can’t get Shuichi to hold on long enough! All these Shuichi’s are failures! They all suck! I am so close just to locking up the current Shuichi until he loves me.   
“A-Ah Kokichi! I’m... sorry. Am I interrupting?” Shuichi’s voice suddenly gained my attention in the garden, making me turn to look at him. I really don’t want to deal with this right now.  
The taller boy kneeled down next to me, “You look like you’re about to cry.”   
“Stupid Shuichi...” I muttered as I looked at the grass again.  
“Did I do something wrong?! I’m sorry!” Shuichi sat down next to me, “Please let me make it up to you! Whatever I did wrong... we can watch a movie.” 

Huh? This Shuichi... which one is he? I looked up to Shuichi, tilting my head. Are they doing something without my knowledge? Whatever... I should trust the show runners because they are doing this for me. “So...?” Shuichi spoke up again.   
“Okay...” I answered, looking back at the grass. I assume this Shuichi must have done a number of timelines without me then. “What timeline is this?”  
“W-What?!” Shuichi sounded shocked and stood up. Rather defensive so I at least know he’s done it.  
“Dont play stupid... I know because I also do it.” I didnt exactly lie... I have played this stupid game over and over trying to get him.

Shuichi seemed to have gone silent before I heard his knees hit the ground and I was pulled into a hug, “I’m sorry... Kokichi. It must’ve been so hard for you.” Huh? My heart started to pick up. This one is affectionate.  
“U-Umm...”   
“R-Right! Uhh... this is my 89th.” Shuichi let go of me.   
“THAT MANY?!” We usually reset to around 50 because it’s when Shuichi seems to be the weakest mentally, “How are you still sane?!”  
“U-Umm... well...” Shuichi looked away, blushing heavily, “H-How about that movie..? W-We can discuss things after dinner.” He was embarrassed. Extremely embarrassed. Was it...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update guys! I was suddenly inspired to rewrite one of my old stories and I’m like 20 chapters into that one now, just unsure if I should post it or not.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update! I’m like 25 chapters into my other story and thinking if I should just post it or not

*Kokichi’s POV*  
This movie is so boring! I placed my head on Shuichi’s lap and was only met his hand gently stroking my hair. He seems rather comfortable with doing this.   
“W-Was it me..?” My heart was beating like crazy since I just gained the courage to ask the question.  
“About what...?” Shuichi hummed as he looked down at me.  
“W-Was I helping you k-keep sane?”  
Shuichi blushed heavily and shook his head. So it wasn’t me? What is it?! I am too curious! My eyes returned to the screen. 

“I rather... not tell you what happened. I haven’t really fully gotten better.” Shuichi explained, “There are some traits... that seem to infect me like the plague. Sometimes they get really bad and I breakdown.” Temporary breakdown? Thats fine. It is to be expected. I don’t see any issue with this Shuichi right now. Well maybe the fact he is hiding a secret but secrets are needed for some people.   
“W-What type of traits...?” I asked him curiously, my eyes moving back up to connect with his. The detective had a glum look and simply shook his head at that question.  
“Y-You and I are in this together! I n-need to know and I can help you... maybe...” 

“Well you haven’t told me how many times you’ve done this. I don’t know anything about you.” Shuichi got defensive quickly. I suppose this would cause issues... How can you trust people easily after all you’ve been through?   
I just pretended to look shocked and hurt as I sat up, making the taller boy drop his shoulders in shame.   
“I apologise Kokichi... I don’t mean it in a rude way.” Shuichi lifted a hand to my head, gently patting it.  
“It’s... okay...” I looked away, “I didn’t expect much else from you.” Shuichi stiffened up from my words.

“K-Kokichi...” Shuichi spoke up after a moment of silence, “What did... I do to you? Why are you so untrusting and harsh to me?” Argh! Don’t ask questions like that. I can’t make excuses at the top of my head. I simply shook my head.   
“I guess... we both have secrets about previous timelines then.” I gave a faint smile to the other.   
“Kokichi- I-“  
“This movie is kinda boring.” I laid back down, “I’m gonna fall asleep at this rate.” I snuggled into his lap.  
“Y-Yeah... it’s kinda boring. Feel free to sleep if you want.” Shuichi hummed, “I’ll be with you.”

I looked up at the other and was met with a soft smile and a hand gently stroking my cheek.   
“Why are you... so gentle?” My heart picked up. Does he love me? Does he love me? Could I just take this one out with me?   
“Because you’re Kokichi...” Shuichi answered. What does that mean? Stupid Shuichi...  
“W-What is that meant to mean?!” I decided to just ask.  
“Well, it means...” Shuichi’s hand twitched and he lifted it to cover his eyes, “Sorry... I have to return to my room.”   
“You said you would stay with me...” I sat up, annoyed. This one sucks at promises.  
“I’m sorry! I will make it up to you!” He stood up and ran. Coward.

~~~~~

I heard the door I was sitting next to open slowly, “K-Kokichi?! You were here? How long?!”   
Not that long. “The entire time...” I lied. The good ol’ he-waited-for-me troupe. I stood up, dusting my pants and walking to face the door properly, “Are you going to invite me in?”   
“S-Should we finish that movie?” Shuichi looked away cautiously, closing the door. He’s hiding it again.

“Why are you hiding it all from me?” I looked at the detective angrily, “You are nice and gentle but you keep so many secrets.”   
“Kokichi, I can’t... I rather not tell you.  
I rather just spend our time together happily.”   
“But why...?”  
“Because I don’t like... I don’t like seeing your crying face!” Shuichi semi-yelled at me, making me step back. He doesn’t like seeing me cry? Ahhh I love this Shuichi! He’s too perfect. My cheeks feel so hot. I want him already.

“U-Umm well... it’s already late at night so why don’t we go to my r-room.” I spoke up, looking away. Damn it! Why do I have this stupid stutter when I’m nervous? I gasped when I realised what I was implying and looked at Shuichi, “N-Not that w-way!” Wait! I want that! “I-I mean I d-don’t mind if you want t-that!” God I hope he doesn’t think I’m desperate.   
I heard soft laughter from Shuichi, making me go silent and just blush, “Let’s go to your room then.”


	21. Chapter 21

*Kokichi’s POV*  
I sat on my bed in my room, watching Shuichi immediately start looking around it. “What is it?” I tilted my head. If he’s repeated so many timelines, he should know what’s in this room.   
“O-Oh nothing!” He jumped a bit and turned to look at me. Shuichi made his way to the bed and sat next to me, “So... what did you want to talk about this late at night?”  
Oh shit. “O-Oh...” Something feels stuck in my throat. I shouldn’t be honest with him or I might scare him off! “I-I was just worried about y-you...”   
“Really?” Shuichi smiled when he heard that, catching me off guard a bit. He is so cute. 

I turned away so I wouldn’t get distracted, “Y-Yeah. That’s it...”   
“Why do you act this way? You’re shy and quiet... and you stutter.” Shuichi quickly jumped into the hard questions.  
“W-Well... ahh...” I looked away, trying to think of a decent lie.   
“Yeah...?” Shuichi leaned closer to me, making me blush heavily and slowly look at him. I couldn’t fully lift my head to face him because of how cautious I was- afraid of seeing him angry or distrusting which would make it hard to lie. 

I felt a gentle hand cup my cheek, lifting my head to look up at him, “You look cute... like that...” Shuichi spoke. His hot breath teased my lips and made me just want to kiss him... it’s too distracting!   
“I-In a timeline... I fo-“ My explanation was interrupted by Shuichi’s soft lips connecting with my own. He wants me too?? My days couldn’t get any better! This Shuichi might be the best one to come out of this experiment and I wasn’t there to control it!  
I took in a deep breath when our lips disconnected. I didn’t even realise I was holding my breath! “Breathe through your nose...” Shuichi chuckled a bit, “...and as you were saying...?”

“W-Well... I... I umm...” That took me by surprise, “O-One timeline returned our p-pregame personalities and it seemed to carry on.” With this explanation, I don’t have to worry about faking my personality too much.  
“Oh! I didn’t realise that could happen... I thought everything resets.” Shuichi’s confused face is way too cute too! I want him to be mine so badly!   
“I-It seems mental stuff carries over... otherwise we can’t remember.” I answered, smiling softly. 

“You are still cute either way!” Shuichi spoke up.  
“C-Cute?!” I stuttered and looked at him shocked. My cheeks feel so hot! I love him so much! Can’t I take him back now? I want to take him back no- BANG!  
My thoughts were interrupted by my back hitting the bed. I looked up at the detective above me, shocked and a bit confused. My heart is racing so much. 

“I’m sorry, Kokichi... I can’t stop myself even if you don’t want it.” The taller boy looked hurt and scared. He didn’t want to do this to me... or is it with me? Either way, I don’t want him to think he’s forcing me.   
I softly smiled and wrapped my arms around Shuichi, “I-It’s okay... I want it. I want... you.” I want to bring this Shuichi with me! He’s perfect! I need to make him the one.   
“Thats... go-...” Shuichi couldn’t finish his sentence as he collapsed on me, passing out from god knows what reason. He’s so cute. I know I keep saying it but I really mean it.

~~~~~

I took off my headset, looking around.   
“Mr Ouma, how was it?” A voice spoke up next to me. I turn to see one of the Danganronpa workers next to me, typing on a computer.  
“I w-want this Shuichi.” I didn’t bother answering, just going to what I want.   
The worker stopped typing and looked at me, “We do not recommend that. He has many iss-“  
“I want him.” My voice lowered and I glared at the worker.  
“Mr Ou-“  
“You HAVE TO bring him back with me when available. Set it up so we are in the room with the others and kill off anyone who didn’t survive to the end of the game.” I ordered. I paid for this so they have to listen to me. There is nothing wrong with Shuichi! He is absolutely perfect!   
“Yes, Mr Ouma.” They responded and went back to the computer. Satisfied, I placed the headset on me once again.


	22. Chapter 22

*Kokichi’s POV*  
It’s been a week since the first day we met. Shuichi has been really affectionate but we aren’t together or anything. He still had those secrets and he often disappears! I also haven’t been invited to him room at all. Well, whatever! Shuichi will be dying today and we can all finally wake up and I can finally be with him.

“Kokichi, you need to eat the broccoli.” Shuichi spoke up as we were eating dinner alone. The detective doesn’t trust eating with others and won’t eat Kirumi’s cooking either, so instead he cooks and we eat together.  
“B-But it’s so gross!” I responded, placing my broccoli on his plate, “You eat it if you l-like it so much.”  
The taller male also is very caring along with his affectionate attitude. Shame he hasn’t kissed me again. 

“Kokichi...”  
“You know you would make a great wife some day!”   
“K-Kokichi!” Shuichi blushed heavily as he looked at me shocked, “I will stop making your meals!” He threatened.   
I simply laughed and went back to eating happily. 

Ba-thump! Huh? I dropped my utensils and quickly grabbed my heart. It hurts... Oh god it hurts...   
“Kokichi..?” My throat felt like it was burning as I started to cough, a thick pink substance landing on the table. I am... I was poisoned? “KOKICHI?!” Shuichi stood up and quickly grabbed me as I was about to fall. It burns. Everything burns. Why is this so painful?! Shit... just when I was having fu-

~~~~~~

I had my headset removed and slowly sat up, looking around. A few others seemed to have woken up at the same time as me... including Shuichi.   
“S-Shuichi...” I looked at the other shocked and confused, “What... where am I?” I played dumb.  
“I see everyone has awoken.” One of the producers spoke up from the door, “Congratulations for not dying. It seems only 5 of you made it out.” I looked to see who was sitting up.

Rantaro...

..Kaede...

...Kirumi...

...Shuichi... 

...and I...

So those 3 are the ones who died the least out of all games. That’s pretty lucky.   
“Where are we..?” Shuichi was the first to ask the question, looking extremely angry.  
“You are in Danganronpa Co. as participants to the latest season... though you should already know since it has been explained to you multiple times.” The producer seemed a bit annoyed at Shuichi. I didn’t like his attitude to the one I love.

Shuichi turned to face me; my heart skipping a beat at the worried look he gave me as he tried to reassure me with a small smile.  
“What do you mean multiple times?” Kaede was the next to ask a question.  
“Well, both Kokichi and Shuichi have retained their memories from all the games they have played. Their personalities are much different from the first one game because the audience enjoyed seeing two of the fan faves slowly break down.” I like the explanation he is giving.

“T-Thats horrible! That’s the r-reason?!” I pretended to be horrified, “I have remembered the constant deaths and pain b-because people wanted to see me traumatised?!”  
“That’s so wrong...” Rantaro supported my statement.   
“How about we continue this discussion after you guys are dressed and have eaten something?” The producer turned to leave.  
“Hey! You can’t just lea-“ Shuichi was cut off by the door slamming. 

Shuichi didnt seemed phased by that and quickly got out of bed, coming to mine and cupping my cheek to examine me, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I couldn’t protect you!” He quickly wrapped his arms around my small body, my heart picking up once again. I just love him too much.  
“I-It’s... Its okay... I’m sure y-you caught the person.” I snuggled into the crook of his neck. This is nice.  
“Dont be fooled, Kokichi!” Rantaro jumped out of bed and started to head over.  
“Shuichi... was actually the one to poison you...” Kaede explained.

I could feel my heart sink and break into pieces. Shuichi... poisoned me? I pulled away from him, “You’re another failure...” I muttered, annoyed. They did try to warn me... why didn’t I listen?   
“Pardon?” Shuichi gently grabbed my hand. This is the Shuichi I am stuck with... one that will try to kill me...  
“Hey! Don’t touch Kokichi!” Rantaro arrived and pushed Shuichi back a bit.   
“I was protecting him!” Shuichi shouted, “He wouldn’t have to suffer through the game if I took him out!” He’s admitting to it!

I felt tears prick my eyes from the shock, “Y-You seriously killed me...?! W-What if I never woke up like the others?!”  
“How am I meant to know you wouldn’t wake up?!”  
“How could you know that I wouldn’t die for good?”  
“At least it would be easier than repeating constantly.”   
“Y-You don’t get to d-decide the fate I prefer!” I am seriously arguing with him the moment we wake up?

Silence filled the room and I kept looking at Shuichi upset. The taller boy seemed genuinely upset with this results. He’s just another failure. “K-Kokichi...” Shuichi tried to reach for me and I just looked away.   
“Don’t touch him.” Rantaro slapped Shuichi’s hand away.   
I am stuck with him now?! I need to protect myself by making sure he doesn’t have access to anything that could kill me.   
“Don’t interrupt us.”   
“Both of you need to calm down! Shuichi, you should give Koki-“  
Kaede was interrupted by Kaede, “Oh my god would you shut up?!” 

Now they’re arguing. I slipped out of the bed and started to make my way to the door.  
“Kokichi? Where are you going?” Shuichi quickly asked when he noticed me move.  
“Leave him alone.”  
“Y-You’re all so annoying” I opened the door and left. I couldn’t help but slam it shut behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be on hiatus as I’ve lost motivation for it.  
> However, I have started to post a new story if you wanna check it out


End file.
